Review: Driven: A White-Knuckled Ride To Heartbreak And Back by Melissa Stephenson

 Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  Happy Holidays dear readers!  I would like to thank authors Deborah Copaken and Mary Roach for connecting with me via Goodreads and LinkedIn after I reached out to them about the writing process, their most recent books, and the status of the publishing industry during the pandemic.  It never ceases to amaze me how helpful many authors can be to an emerging writer like myself.  If more people in the publishing industry were this willing to connect with emerging talent, we just might see a return to people having faith in the publishing industry once again. We need a publishing arena that recognizes diversity in all its forms especially those like me who are not afraid to write about some of life's harsher realities and the wisdom that comes from learning how others handle adversity that often arrives at the doorstep as chronic illness, invisible disability, and navigating our current discombobulated health care industry.

Over the past two weeks I have been reading Driven:  A White-Knuckled Ride To Heartbreak And Back by Melissa Stephenson.  Ms. Stephenson has a BA in English from The University of Montana and an MFA in fiction from Texas State University.  Driven is about a young woman growing up and wanting to reach for a life beyond the boundaries of her small town.  It is also a book about losing a sibling to suicide.  And the unique part of the book is that Ms. Stephenson tells the story via the cars she and her family cycle through over the years.  

I identified with the author's desire to stretch her horizons beyond the small town where she resides as a child and teenager.  Growing up the author lived in awe of her brother and his immense personality along with how people were just magnetically drawn to him.  With memoir there is usually an element of dysfunction whether it is with the writer or maybe the writer's family.  In this case, the reader sees where the parents have their own fragilities as most parents do.  And the reader sees the positives and negatives of an often laissez-faire parenting style.  Ultimately, when Melissa's brother dies it is like a sucker punch to the gut and Ms. Stephenson wrote about the aftermath in such a raw and honest way that there were times when I had to lay the book aside and come back to it several hours or a day later. This just proved how powerful a storyteller the author is because as a female writer myself who also is from a small town, is descended from a family with a history of emotional idiosyncracies and a family where there is a history of suicide, this book touched home for me.  

Personally, I have never been one to stigmatize people who cope with various types of mental illness and alcohol/substance abuse issues.  It always astounds me when I or someone else mentions receiving counseling or speaking of an experience in rehab and people often act like that is something to hide, be ashamed of, or a life element that should be swept under the rug.  Really?  I think most families suffer from some form of dysfuntion.  My modus operandi is to name the problem, own it, and get the help needed to cope with the issue before it is too late.  Many families will ignore the problem, dysfunction, or as many say, the elephant in the room.  Is that the healthiest way to handle a relative who is headed into a downward spiral on a very serious level?  

When the author's brother dies all members of the family are left reeling.  And as many remaining living siblings often do, we wonder if we could have done something to stop the suicide?  Did we see the warning signs of a mental and emotional downward spiral and address it with the person?  Did anyone try to conduct an intervention?  Did we see the progression of mental, emotional, and physical decline and think the problem would mend itself or that some other family member would step up to the plate to help? 

The unique part of this book involved how the author chronicled this story by also noting all the cars she and her family members cycled through over the years.  From her dad buying a Fiat when he knew her mom was expecting a child to a Volare that carried the family through some of their best times, to the VW van Melissa utilizes to carry herself beyond the borders of Indiana, and finally to the author inheriting the massive truck her brother left upon his death.  It was just a fascinating mechanism to utilize to tell this story.  And I think the way the author coped and processed her brother's death was to tell his story as well as her own.  It was a meaningful, quite moving way to honor her brother and therapeutically process the loss of her brother.  

This book at times was a difficult read because I identified so clearly and emotionally with its subject matter and with the author.  Ultimately, I am glad I kept going back to the book, continued to read the story, and draw strength from the knowledge that others have shared the painful realities brought about by losing a loved one to mental illness and/or substance abuse.  I will be keeping this book on my shelf for quite some time.

Till my next post,

Grace (Amy)

Review: Two Truths and a Lie: A Murder, A Private Investigator, And Her Search For Justice by Ellen McGarrahan

 Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  Hope you had a safe Thanksgiving and were able to visit with family and friends.  This month I was not inclined to re-read my book club's selection for the month of December so I did what any emerging yet unknown writer would do:  I selected two books written in my favorite genre, memoir!  Let me clarify and say I like memoirs by everyday people and NOT celebrity memoirs.  

The second memoir I selected for the month of December is titled Two Truths and a Lie:  A Murder, A Private Investigator, And Her Search For Justics by Ellen McGarrahan.  I wanted to read this book because its author worked as an investigative reporter for many years in Miami, New York City, and San Francisco. She later found her calling as a private investigator.  While working as an investigative reporter in Florida, she volunteers to witness and write about the execution of a man named Jesse Tafero.  A Florida jury found him guilty of killing two police officers at a rest stop on February 20th, 1976.  He was sentenced to death via electric chair.  Ellen went to observe the execution and was traumatized by what she witnessed.  She thought the whole process would be over and done with in at most several minutes.  That is not what happened. 

When Jesse Tafero was brought into the execution chamber and strapped into the electric chair, officers secured a headset atop his shaved head.  When an anonymous person flipped the switch to electrocute Jesse Tafero, the headset bolted to his head catches fire.  Jesse clenched his fists and slammed upward and back in the chair.  Ellen could tell Jesse was still breathing.  Then anonymous person flipped the switch a second time and Jesse's head is nodding, chest is still heaving, and he is still breathing.  All total, it took seven minutes and three electrical jolts before Jesse Tafero was pronounced dead.  Ellen remains haunted for years by what she witnessed that morning.  And she wonders if the state executed the guilty party in this grisly crime.  Eventually, she becomes a private investigator and returns to Florida to piece together the state's evidence involving the crime and speak with some of the parties involved in the crime.  She also speaks with many of the people that were most effected by the crime and the people who were involved in investigating and bringing this case to trial.

Essentially, the book demonstrates how Ellen went about getting to the truth of who was really guilty in this particular crime.  She wanted to know this truth so she could come to some sense of peace regarding if the proper criminals were truly held accountable and because she was so traumatized by the state's botched execution of an individual who was found guilty in the case.  Which of the people involved in the crime were telling the truth and which people were lying?   She goes through box after box of evidence even recreating the bodily figures of each person who was present on the morning of the crime.  She speaks to family members, prosecuting attorneys, a polygrapher, and even two defendants who were sentenced for the crime.  She needs to know the truth so she can release the obsession she has with the case.  

Actually, this book was quite different from what I thought it would be.  The book's inside cover said it would be a profound meditation on grief, complicity, and justice.  And all those elements are there in the book.  Ultimately, I think the book pushes the reader to consider how he/she feels about the death penalty and how the death penalty is enacted.  For me, the book proved that when an individual tells and shows you who they are, believe them.  I think that last sentence that I wrote was from the writing of the brilliant Maya Angelou.  The book also left me pondering some questions like will our country ever implement gun control laws?  Why are young kids and teenagers in this country able to obtain guns so easily?  Are parents ever able to look at their child's behavior and actions objectively?  Why are guns and violence so prevalent in our society?  Do parents ever realize that the life they choose to lead and the people with whom they associate can greatly scar or benefit the type of person a child grows up to be?  When citizens of this country are asked to serve on a death penalty case, are they seeing all the evidence and testimony that they should be allowed to view and consider before making a decision on whether a defendant is guilty or innocent and whether that person should be sentenced to life in prison without parole or be given the death penalty?  

Finally, I think it goes without saying that this book will make you think about some often uncomfortable topics.  It will make you ask yourself where you stand on the subjects of guns and violence.  It will show you the grief caused by drugs, guns, and inconceivable crimes that surround us all each day.  In conclusion, I would recommend this book.  I wanted to reach out to the author on Goodreads, but I was not given the option of connecting with her though the Goodreads website.  I had some questions for her that I would have liked to ask her about the book.  I would also like to know if she ever truly found peace after what she witnessed and what she discovered after all her research, travels, and interviews.  

Till my next review, observation, or meditation,

Best,

Grace (Amy)

Review: LadyParts: A Memoir by Deborah Copaken

 Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  Today I am reviewing the new memoir titled LadyParts by Deborah Copaken.  Ms. Copaken is also the author of the memoir Shutterbabe which mesmerized audiences with her revelations of what life is like for a female war photographer and journalist.  Ms. Copaken also authored The Red Book as well as Between Here and April.  She was a contributing writer to The Atlantic and a TV writer on Emily in Paris. Her column, "When Cupid Is a Prying Journalist"  was adapted for the Modern Love streaming series. 

In LadyParts:  A Memoir Ms. Copaken shines a light on resilience when as a single mom she finds herself dropping from the middle class without a safety net once confronted with the following:   a prolonged divorce from a man who has the sympathetic nature of a copperhead snake; paying for rent and adult child college tuitions when an ex-husband moves thousands of miles away and provides zero child support;  attempting to find employment when women are often underpaid and often toil in harsh work environments,  trying to secure healthcare insurance in between jobs via COBRA benefits; and last but not least, attempting to obtain a work/life balance when the corporate world only presents job opportunities to women that frequently include indifference to responsibilities a woman has as a mom, penalizes working women for taking time away from work to address personal and child medical ailments, discombobulated work environments that cause stress and lead to insecurities and a work world where sexual harassment and not being paid fairly or given credit for the work you create are often the norm.   If I were teaching a class titled The Fine Art of Being A Feminist, this book would be required reading.  

Talk about ever evolving turbulent periods in a life, Ms. Copaken certainly writes about navigating life's ups and downs when she finally decided to divorce her husband and not settle for less than she deserves when it comes to romantic relationships, utilizing creative ways to pay the rent and put food on the table, navigating finding a living space in New York City while dealing with shady landlords, keeping up tuition payments for her children's college educations with no assistance from their father, navigating adverse health crises when uninsured or waiting to acquire health insurance during a probationary period at a new job, and blowing the whistle on individuals in the workforce who try to strip women of the power to provide for themselves and obtain gainful employment without having to endure sexual harassment in the process.  

As a writer, Ms. Copaken had the incredible opportunity to befriend the late Nora Ephron who lived by her words, "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim."   Ms. Copaken learned that lesson well and translated it in part via the memoir titled LadyParts.  This book reveals a woman who was determined to survive and thrive though life kept emitting mortar fire at her no mater which way she turned.  The process enabled her to build a no-nonsense ethical ability when it comes to her professional and personal life.  She learned quickly what she would not settle for in a significant other and she learned how to gracefully navigate indifferent corporate work environments and blow the whistle when it comes to sexual harassment in the workplace whether you are a freelancer, consultant, or full-time, site-based employee.

This is a powerful memoir that I have been waiting to see on bookshelves since I navigated those same shark-infested corporate and academic waters many years ago.  As a woman, you owe it to yourself to ensure that you are paid fairly for the work you choose to do, to be able to live a decent life and obtain affordable and well-managed healthcare, and to not tolerate sexual harassment of any sort by blowing the whistle on people who choose to engage in it.  Be the heroine that more women today need to see and hear so others can orchestrate achieving the benefit of being the heroine of their own life story.  

Bravo, Ms. Copaken!  A job well-done!  I highly recommend the book titled LadyParts:  A Memoir by Deborah Copaken.  

Till my next review, adventure, or tirade!

All Best,

Grace  (aka Amy)

What My Dad Would Say To His Beloved Atlanta Braves If He Were Here Today

 Dear Readers,

Today I have to diverge from my usual book reviews, publishing adventures, and medical commentary.  I generally do not have many readers or followers of this blog in the first place; however, it is not for lack of trying.  Today I need to write a blog post to the Atlanta Braves players who will be suiting up tonight for their first World Series game since 1999.  God Rest His Soul, my father was the biggest, most loyal Atlanta Braves fan.  In good times and bad times, dad never wavered from supporting his Braves.  He used to come visit me when I lived in Duluth, GA and attend games at Turner Field.  One of the last days before my dad passed away from anaplastic large cell lymphoma, my family and I sat with him in his ICU hospital room.  We were all having lunch together and dad was digging into Carolina barbecue, slaw, and hushpuppies with all of us.  His hospital room television was set to a game featuring the Atlanta Braves.  The pitcher that day was at the time a young Alex Woods who my dad was certain had a stellar career ahead of him.  I had just moved back to the Triangle region of North Carolina six months prior to Sunday, June 7th, 2015.  Dad was wearing his Braves cap per usual even in the midst of dying while hospitalized in an Intensive Care Unit.  As a family that was the last game featuring the Atlanta Braves that we would ever watch with my father.  Dad died Tuesday June 9th, 2015 at six in the morning.

I had been keeping up with this 2021 baseball season when I had the time and my mom was most definitely watching almost every Braves game.  Mom is most happy when she watches the Atlanta Braves as she used to do with my dad religiously.  Recently, I was not sure if the Atlanta Braves could beat the Dodgers to advance to the World Series.  I could not watch the games because I was afraid if I did, I might jinx the chances of the Braves advancing to the World Series in 2021.  Saturday night October 23rd, 2021, I went to bed early, but I knew the game was tied.  I fell asleep only to wake at four in the morning.  I checked ESPN to see what happened in the game.  The Braves had won the game and were headed to the World Series.  I stared at my laptop and chills came over me.  I looked heavenward as I knew my dad most likely was watching over the Braves from heaven and coaching them like usual from his recliner in heaven.  I turned on my cell phone and text my mom and brother that the Atlanta Braves were going to the World Series.  They finally received the news early Sunday morning.  Both were elated.  

Braves players, this is what my dad, a former softball coach himself, would say to you if he were here today:

Brothers, we are headed to play the Houston Astros in Texas.  Your playing skills have been tweaked this year and we are blessed to have landed in the World Series.  It has been a hell of a year.  We have walked through many valleys and climbed many mountains.  Above all, we are here to play ball.  We will leave everything we have on the field because that is where we do our jobs and our talking.  I know what the oddsmakers say and I do not care one bit.  We as a team determine our odds on the field one game at a time.  So pack your game face and do not forget to bring your "A" game.  Be there for one another as you have this entire season.  No matter what happens, we earned the right to be here and for that we are grateful.  Now, Go Out There And Work Those Bats, Play Like Your Life Depends On It, and Let The Chips Fall Where They May!  OOH RAH!

God Speed Atlanta Braves.  Daddy will be watching from above in heaven.  Mom, my brother and me will be watching the magic from home.

All Best,

Amy 

aka Grace Sutherlin (pen name)

Review: Hamnet: A Novel of the Plague by Maggie O'Farrell

 Greetings Lit Loves,

This month the book club I attend here in Cary, North Carolina selected to read the book titled Hamnet:  A Novel of the Plague by Maggie O'Farrell which became a national bestseller.  This book takes a fictional look at the life and death of Shakespeare's only son, Hamnet, who died at age eleven in 1596.  Interestingly, the book additionally takes a look at Shakespeare's dysfunctional family inclusive of an alcoholic father who can be abusive to his wife and children and his mother, Mary, who tends to the family home in Stratford, Warwickshire England.  Shakespeare, in this book, was depicted as having a sister named Eliza and several brothers as well.  The book opens with Shakespeare as a Latin tutor of pupils in his hometown and also his courting his eventual wife, Anne or Agnes, Hathaway who grew up learning the medicinal value of herbs, flowers, and plants from her biological mom and a contentious relationship much later with her stepmother, Joan.

Obviously, Shakespeare and Agnes marry to the dismay of both their families.  Agnes's brother, Bartholomew, is the one family member with whom she has a lifelong connection as he helps broker a deal such that Agnes and Shakespeare will have an apartment above Shakespeare's parents' home as opposed to living directly with them.  Agnes and Shakespeare go on to have three children including Susanna and later, Hamnet and Judith who are fraternal twins.  Agnes works with local townspeople who come to her home for tinctures and solvents for their various heath problems.  Eventually, Shakespeare leaves his family to extend his father's embroidered glove business in London, but really, he begins to write and stage plays in London.  While he is away, Judith falls ill with symptoms of the plague and a letter is sent to Shakespeare to come home directly.  Judith recovers and it is Hamnet, the son, who eventually dies of the plague.  Shakespeare does make it back home, but it is too late to say goodbye to his son.  He does participate in the burial of his son.  Following the burial, Shakespeare leaves once again to write and stage plays in London.  Eventually, he becomes so successful as a writing and staging plays that he buys his family a sizeable home and land in Stratford, Warwickshire England.  And he additionally goes on to write the play, Hamlet, which is often thought to be a tribute to his son, Hamnet.

I think this book demonstrates how easily a plague or pandemic can begin and spread like wildfire.  It also deals with the obvious issue of death, but also how people cope differently with the death of a loved one.  Agnes, Hamnet's mother, falls into a silent stupor and becomes reclusive.  Hamnet's fraternal twin, Judith, is emotionally traumatized by her brother's death and also is left wondering why she lived and he died of the plague.  Susanna, Shakespeare's oldest child, follows her paternal grandmother's lead by getting back to all of life's regular chores.  And Shakespeare copes through being away from his family and writing a play of great tragedy.

It is also interesting to notice the rituals involved when someone dies.  In this book, Hamnet  dies and his mother and grandmother prepare his body by first washing it with oils and water.  Then the body is placed in a powder white shroud which is stitched together once it is draped on the deceased's body.  All this occurs as Hamnet lies on the frame of a door which will be utilized to transport him through town to his burial ground.  Hamnet's mother even cuts a lock of his hair which she then keeps in a jar which resides on a mantel in the apartment.  Additionally, Agnes places lavender and other herbs and flowers around his body as he is readied for burial.  She is comforted that his burial site is beside a river as Hamnet loved water.  Hamnet's sister, Judith, decorates a portion of an attic space in the cookhouse where she and her brother used to hide from the rest of the family.  

Finally, this book displays the often strong bonds among siblings especially Agnes and her brother, Bartholomew.  Bartholomew looks out for his sister when she is married by ensuring she and Shakespeare have a small place of their own built above his parents' home that is completely for the two of them and their family.  Bartholomew is the one who finds Agnes and where she decided to go and have her first child, Susanna.  It was a place where they hid and played as children themselves.  Bartholomew is the one who consoles Agnes at the death of Hamnet and urges her to prepare his body for eventual burial.  And finally, Bartholomew is the one who Shakespeare asks to locate and buy a private, large home with land for his family.

I thought this was an excellent book.  I certainly thought the author depicted the time period and characters well through most likely diligent research.  It was not an easy read for me, especially the part where Hamnet dies and is buried, as it reminded me of the suffering my own family experienced when my father died.  And the book gave me some insight into the probable everyday life and experiences of Shakespeare and why he became the famous person that he will always be.  I highly recommend this book.

Till my next review,

Grace  (Amy)

Review: The Guardians by John Grisham

 Dear Literary Loves,

Greetings!  And once again I have returned to one of my favorite authors, John Grisham.  He writes the best crime fiction and he is someone who as an established and successful writer, connected with me as I was struggling to write and obtain publication in the memoir genre.  In this particular book titled, The Guardians, Grisham gives readers an inside fictional look into the life of an attorney who represents those who have been wrongly convicted. The book has much to offer regarding how and why wrongful convictions happen as well as the arbitrary nature of the U.S. judicial system.

Initially, the main focus of the book is on a case where an attorney in the small town of Seabrook, Florida, is shot and killed while working in his law office late one evening.  The killer left no clues, there are no witnesses to the crime, and there appears to be no one with a motive to kill the attorney.  The local sheriff handles the investigation of the murder.  He turns his attention to a black man and former client of the dead attorney known as Quincy Miller.    People say Quincy Miller was not happy with Keith Russo, the deceased attorney, and how Russo boggled Miller's representation during a recent divorce.  There are folks who say Quincy Miller openly expressed his disappointment in Russo's handling of his divorce.  Some even say Miller made threatening phone calls to Attorney Keith Russo.  Before too long, the sheriff has a witness who says she saw a man similar to Quincy Miller running from the lawyer's office the night of the shooting.  Next, a flashlight with what looks to be blood specks on the lens of the flashlight is found in the trunk of Quincy Miller's car.  It is taken as evidence by the sheriff who puts the flashlight evidence into a box, stores it in a shed, and before a trial can take place, this evidence is supposedly destroyed by a fire ignited in the evidence storage shed.

Quincy Miller finds himself being prosecuted for the murder of Keith Russo.  A murder weapon was never found.  Miller's ex-wife testifies that he did own a shotgun and several pistols.  A jailhouse snitch testifies that while he was locked up in a cell with Miller, he heard Quincy Miller brag about killing Attorney Keith Russo.  Quincy Miller is tried, convicted, and sentenced to life in prison.  He continues to advocate his innocence, but he has no attorney and no legal advocate.  He has a brother who visits him monthly in prison and sends Quincy money via check when he has extra income.  

Quincy Miller desperately writes to Guardian Ministries, a group that specializes in taking on cases where innocent men and women were convicted and sentenced to prison.  Cullen Post is the attorney at Guardian Ministries along with his partner, Vicki and assistant, Mazy who vote to take on Quincy Miller's case after reviewing the trial transcript and files along with the lack of a murder weapon and missing case evidence.  This crew has won 8 cases in which prisoners were shown to be wrongfully convicted and are serving time for a crime that someone else committed.  The question then becomes:  Will they have enough time to find missing evidence, interview trial witnesses, and proceed with DNA testing to determine if Quincy Miller and a few other prisoners are actually serving time for a crime they never committed?

I liked this book because there are few attorneys who are willing and have the time to devote to reviewing a convicted prisoner's case file to determine if the individual might have been wrongfully convicted.  In this book, the attorney who reviews Quincy's criminal case works mostly pro bono, spends a lot of time on the road tracking down witnesses and having evidence tested for DNA components.  Guardian Ministries depends on donations to keep the doors open.  Cullen Post, the innocence attorney in Quincy Miller's case actually lives in a room above the offices of Guardian Ministries.  Just the amount of time he spends traveling from one state to another is overwhelming.  And he carries affidavits with him on a near constant basis should he find a trial witness who is willing to say they lied in a criminal case.  It's a job that takes dedication and endless reserves of energy and a phenomenal curiosity.

This book also allows the reader to see the dysfunction in our criminal justice system.  A jury for a criminal trial does not always get the right person convicted.  And this happens because sometimes the people behind the crimes are paying off witnesses, witnesses may lie while testifying in court simply to retaliate against the person being prosecuted, law enforcement may utilize a convicted prisoner to obtain information from a defendant while in jail, and trial evidence may have been planted or destroyed intentionally to cover up and protect who really committed the crime.  

According to what I read in this book, there are more than two million people locked up in prison in the United States and it takes one million employees and over eighty million dollars to house and care for the prison population.  The book made me wonder how many prisoners in the United States are actually truly innocent and may pay the ultimate price  of death for a crime they did not commit and how many prisoners have lost their freedoms and rights as citizens for a crime that someone else actually committed?  This book will make you think about our often chaotic judicial system and also give you an added degree of skepticism if you are ever called to be a jury member on a criminal case.  Another well-written book by John Grisham.  I never expect anything less from one of my favorite authors.  I highly recommend the book, The Guardians by John Grisham.

Till my next review,

Grace (Amy)

Review: The Orphan Collector by Ellen Marie Wiseman

 Dear Lit Loves,

I am beginning to think I should just trust my book club when it comes to selecting books of fiction to place on my "to read" stack.  This month's book selection was no disappointment either.  We read The Orphan Collector by Ellen Marie Wiseman which takes a peek into a timely setting, the Fall of 1918 in the slums of Philadelphia where a thirteen year old immigrant named Pia Lange has just moved with her family to an apartment.  The area is home to a host of immigrants, Pia's family is of German origin while others around her are of Irish origin.  Right off the bat, the Spanish flu hits and Pia arrives home from school one day not realizing her world is about to change forever.

Schools shut down, restaurants, the farmers' markets, and people start dying in large numbers after attending a parade that some thought was a terrible idea due to the rampant spread of the Spanish flu.  Pia's dad has joined the Army, but before he left her mother gave birth to two twin boys, Ollie and Max.  While Pia is at home with her mom assisting with the care of her twin brothers, her mother becomes exhausted and passes away thereby leaving Pia to look after her twin brothers.  So many people are dying that Pia watches as carriages and trucks arrive several times a day to pick up bodies of people who have died and their families have wrapped them in linens and deposited them outside their homes.  Pia begins a resilient journey in hopes of keeping her brothers and herself alive until the epidemic ends.  When she begins to realize there is no food she can find in the apartment for her twin brothers, she makes the decision to leave her brothers in a cubby in their mother's bedroom while she goes to various neighboring apartments to ask for food.  And while she is trying to gather donations, Pia starts feeling ill and collapses in the street.

Meanwhile, there is Bernice Groves who lost her son to the flu.  If I remember correctly, she also lost her husband to the flu as well.  She is shell-shocked as she continues to leave her son's body in his crib and mourn for him.  At a certain point, she wants to die herself.  When she notices Pia leave her apartment without her mom and twin brothers, her suspicions are sparked because she had noticed at the market that Pia's mother was of German descent.  Bernice is not keen on the influx of immigrants to the Philadelphia area.  She wants the country to remain Americanized with only English speakers.  She goes to check on Pia's mother and brothers only to find the apartment door unlocked, Pia's mother dead, and the twin brothers crying from inside a floor cubby.  Bernice decides to take the twin boys.

Pia's life becomes one of endless trauma and unyielding guilt.  She wakes up inside a church pew after being found collapsed on the street.  She is being tended to by a nun who informs her she has been practically unconscious for six days.  Next, she is deposited at an orphanage having no chance to return home to her twin brothers.  The orphanage is located in an isolated area, is dirty, serves inadequate meals, and is filled with children of all ages.  Pia is assigned to work in the nursery caring for and supervising the youngest orphans.

Bernice Groves decides to take the persona and uniform of a nurse.  She calls herself Nurse Wallis and she basically decides to begin reading obituaries, locating families who have lost young children, going to Pia's orphanage and obtaining a baby or child and offering them to couples who have lost a child.  And then she charges a finder's fee thus making money for herself and the twins.  Immigrant children that are orphaned and who Bernice locates are placed on trains going to other states and families.  

Pia gets sent to help a wealthy doctor's family.  Upon arrival at Dr. Hudson's residence, she is introduced as  being sent by the orphanage's lead nun to help Mrs. Hudson with four children.  Mrs. Hudson isn't leaving the house and has a "No Visitors" sign on her front door.  When Pia sees the affluence of the Hudsons, she is ashamed of her depraved state coming from an orphanage.  The Hudsons take her into their home and she happily takes on duties of helping care for young children while simultaneously wondering what became of her twin brothers.  The Hudsons realize too that Pia is gifted with being able to feel the afflictions of others when she touches them.  The Hudsons' realize this when she informs them there is something wrong with their son, Leo, but Dr. Hudson is unable to find anything wrong with him.  The next day Leo is deceased.  

Following Leo's death and when the family is most vulnerable, Nurse Wallis appears to console Mrs. Hudson and the family.  And one day, Nurse Wallis brings an orphaned boy whose mother could not keep him.  Nurse Wallis leaves the orphan with the Hudson family for two days and returns to discover Mrs. Hudson wants to keep the child.  That's when Mrs. Hudson learns that Nurse Wallis wants a tidy sum of money for the baby she has brought to the family.  Nurse Wallis's shenanigans start to unravel once she recognizes Pia and leaves one of Pia's brother's homemade rattle at the Hudson residence.  The pieces of the puzzle start to come together for Pia and The Hudson family.  I won't give away the ending of the story, but suffice it to say, Bernice Groves gets her due and Pia uncovers what really happened to her father and twin brothers.

This book was published right when our Covid 19 pandemic was beginning.  I thought the book demonstrated the varying choices people can make when faced with unrelenting trauma.  It also evocates how trauma affects a person's psyche, and the manner in which cities across our nation handled or mishandled the 1918 Spanish Flu epidemic.  Plus, there was always the comparison in my mind while reading the book of how the pandemic we face today differs and yet is similar to the Spanish Flu epidemic.  It's a beautiful book.  I appreciated the author's willingness to befriend me and highly recommend this timely book.

Until My Next Review,

Grace

(Amy)

Review: Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life by Christie Tate

 Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings.  I just finished reading the memoir entitled Group:  How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life by Christie Tate, a writer and essayist from Chicago.  The book was published under the imprint, Avid Reader Press owned by Simon & Schuster, Inc.  

I wanted to read this book because it was about the writer's life as a young woman attending law school and her bout with an eating disorder along with leading an isolated life to the point that she begins entertaining thoughts of suicide.  Eventually, she locates a therapist who specializes in group therapy and believes that the therapy group will guide her past the shadows of her eating disorder as well as her social isolation.  The therapist has what he calls "prescriptions" he delegates to members of each therapy group when the need arises.  He does ask that all group members be brutally honest and not keep secrets because according to his methodology, to keep a secret is to internalize your own shame or someone else's shame.

Personally, I felt like the author had been traumatized at an early age and learned not to express her grief, but to repress it.  This is a young woman who is attending law school, but socially and romantically she just feels disconnected and broken.  The therapy groups she attends are led by her therapist, but for the most part, the group members take the lead in terms of challenging and witnessing the issues each group member brings to multiple sessions per week.  With this author, she does not wish to die a spinster or never find someone with whom to share her life.  The reader then begins to learn a great deal about what Christie wants in a potential mate via the multiple people she begins dating.  For example, one guy she chooses to date has financial issues and spends all his time gaming on a computer when he is not working.  His relationship with Christie will always come second to his love of gaming which leads the author to understand that this male does not put a priority on a more permanent relationship with another human being.   He can barely take care of himself much less take time to invest in another person and a relationship.  

Next, the author graduates from law school and accepts a junior associate legal position with a big firm in Chicago.  At the office, she meets a male intern who she dates for a short time. They have great chemistry until one day he just tells Christie it will never work out for them as a couple due to his religion.  Obviously, she is sharing all the ups and downs of her dating life whenever she attends group meetings.  Then there is Alex, who lives in Christie's building and is a junior associate at a different law firm, is a total fitness fanatic and willingly signs up both himself and Christie for marathons, fitness classes, etc.  One day after dating for quite a while, Alex tells Christie he believes "she is not the one" and subsequently drops her like a hot potato.  At this point in the book, it is obvious that Christie needs to find her voice, to speak up for herself in relationships and not just go along with a potential mate who does not appear to value what her interests are, only his.

The group therapy sessions Christie attends can become heated and sometimes in group therapy sessions I begin to wonder if her therapist realizes she can be a danger to herself if a romantic relationship sputters to an end and she becomes grossly disappointed regarding once again not finding her soul mate.  The group sessions Christie attends includes people who are quite blatant in what they perceive is happening in Christie's romantic life.  Sometimes the group finds two members in a verbal slugfest.  I know myself well enough that group therapy would not be healing for me,  Plus, I would not spend what this author does per month just on group therapy.  

One of the more difficult periods the author relates in the book is regarding whether she wants to date a married man who has kids and has already admitted to cheating on his wife.  Christie finally comes to the conclusion that if Reed would cheat on his wife of twenty years, he would most likely do the same to her even if he left his marriage.  Then there is a doctor named Brandon who Christie dates; however, he has some rather odd behavior and tells her she cannot discuss him in her group therapy sessions.  When she learns through a conversation he has with another male buddy that he is going to Cancun with a woman he attended college with, Christie hits the brakes fast.  Fortunately, she finally comes to the revelation that even if she is alone for the rest of her life, she will be okay.  She has a financially secure job, owns her own condo, and has friends and group members who care for her.  If this is all she ultimately has in life:  it is okay.  You do not have to absolutely find your soul mate in this lifetime in order to be happy and fulfilled.  Nor do I think a woman needs to romantically settle for someone who ultimately is selfish, hurtful, cruel, or immature just to be able to say, "I'm with someone."

I will not give away the ending of the book, but I will say it's quite intriguing to read about what happens to the author romantically as well as how her relationship with her therapist and her group members changes over a period of five years.  On a scale of 1 to 5, I would rate this book a three because some of the content is explicit and some readers may find that offensive while others may not give it a second thought.  Personally, I will be sticking with cognitive behavioral therapy with a single therapist should I require it.  The choice to read the book is ultimately one you will have to make for yourself.

Till My Next Review,

Grace (Amy)

Review: Long Bright River by Liz Moore

 Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  I chose the book Long Bright River by Liz Moore as the book selection of the month for the book club I belong to locally.  This is a quite riveting story revolving around two sisters who once were very close and now no longer speak to one another.  Both sisters have also taken very different paths in life. Mickey, the older sister, is a police detective and Kacey, her younger sister, is a heroin, opioid addict.  Mickey has always felt that she can at least keep an eye on Kacey since Kacey is a prostitute working the streets that Mickey patrols.  The neighborhood more specifically is an area in suburban Philadelphia called Kensington.  When a string of female addicts/prostitutes begin being found murdered in Kensington, Mickey and her police department are looking for the killer.

The setting for this book is an area I personally as a southerner am not familiar with, but the author did such an outstanding job describing Kensington that I felt like the city itself is/was a character in the story. I think there are many areas like Kensington all over the country; we just don't hear about them in the news as much as a place like Kensington which appears to be an East coast hub for heroin and opioid sales.  The author, upon moving to Philadelphia, willingly admits that there is generational addiction in her own family.  She was initially asked by a photojournalist to accompany him to Kensington to write the stories that go along with his portraits of various people who are often "stuck" in Kensington.  The author also conducted free writing workshop classes at a women's shelter in Kensington.  

I admire authors who have the courage to tackle real-life issues whether through contemporary fiction like this book or through memoir which is a genre in which I write.   I think authors like Liz Moore and especially myself often have a personal connection to the subject we are addressing in our books which to me adds authenticity to even a work of fiction.  

I think this book addresses how our childhoods and life experiences often reflect or give rise to the person we are in the present day.   There is always the philosophical debate of nature vs. nurture; are you who you are because of genetics or  due to the experiences that have thus far defined your life or perhaps both?  Clearly, we have two sisters who were raised by an often abrasive grandmother after their mother dies of an overdose at age eighteen.  Their father left them soon after their mother died and it is implied in the book that he is/was an addict as well.  So while Kacey would most likely argue that her addiction could be genetic since both parents were addicts, I think Mickey would argue that she was raised in the same household and became a functional, productive adult even with the same set of parents.  Personally, I think addiction whether it is alcohol, illegal substances, opioids, etc. has some element of genetics linked to it.    And I think also that our life experiences shape our character, values, and views.  I often wonder if the grandmother who raised Mickey and Kacey would have been a completely different person if she had not lost her husband so early in their marriage and then also lost her daughter to opioid addiction.    One of the most dramatic moments in the book is when the grandmother, Gee, discovers Kacey is in the hospital due to an overdoes.  Gee walks into the hospital, firmly looks Kacey in the eyes, and says she is not going through this process again.  She then drags Kacey from the hospital bed and takes her home.  Once they get home, Gee smacks Kacey.  At that point, Gee is of the opinion that Kacey can get her life together or get out of Gee's home.  Talk about an authoritarian parenting style.  

Also, I think this book demonstrates how the family, friends, acquaintances, and community are affected by having a family member who is also an addict.  Some families take Gee's approach to a family member who is an addict while other families may live in denial that anything is wrong with the family member.  And an addicts' friends are usually other addicts.  I got the feeling that many addicts watch or hear about their friends' overdose deaths and in some cases even witness an overdose death.  The community of Kensington as a whole has become a seedy, dangerous place to reside because of the heroin and opioid trade.  Through some of the pictures I found of the Kensington population, of which many were taken from the photojournalist who documented the people of Kensington, many appear shell-shocked, broken, and physically/emotionally ravaged.  On the other hand, you have the dealers, street drug sellers who appear to be making a fine living off the drug trade.  Families who have homes around the Kensington community appear to remain in their homes or only let their children play on their porches.  The police seem resigned that the drug culture in Kensington is here to stay.  One police officer said that as soon as he arrests one drug seller another one will take his/her place by the time he can book the one he has at the police station.

Through one newspaper article I read after reading this book, it appears the city even eliminated the subway or train stop for Kensington during the pandemic.  People still kept coming.  And then you have the children of addicts who are born addicted to a drug and go through withdrawal in a neonatal intensive care unit.  Most addicts can't take care of themselves much less be responsible for a child so the child either is taken in by a family member, is placed up for adoption, or is deposited in the foster care system.  One drug dealer who was interviewed by a reporter for The Philadelphia Inquirer newspaper says, "One day America is going to regret allowing this to happen.  I can't believe I am getting away with making a living this way in the United States!"  

The book also addresses the rampant corruption within many police forces.  While this brought to mind the death of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, it also made me wonder if some police officers are also customers/drug users as well.  Are any of the officers offering to not arrest someone in return for a sexual favor?  In the book, finding a person or woman dead along train tracks often appeared like an everyday, routine occurrence for the officers and paramedics.   I could see this being the case for a medical examiner, but when the police become immune to discovering a dead body, is it a way of coping with that part of the job or is it because he/she no longer cares?  Or worse, could a police officer have committed the murder and covered his/her tracks especially well?  The book definitely makes you wonder if the police are often complicit in the drug culture within Kensington or elsewhere for that matter.

I love books that bring to light an important issue like the opioid crisis.  My own extended family has vividly witnessed the effects of a family member's opioid addiction.  And I have a cousin who works as a nurse in the Emergency Room of a hospital and he often tells me about how paramedics completely run out of Nar-Con (I think that is the name of the drug used to revive an overdose victim).  And he has even said the hospital where he works has come dangerously close to not having enough Nar-Con to revive the mounting number of overdose victims that are brought to the Emergency Room,

Many folks were intimidated by this book just for its sheer length, but I would rather have a well-developed novel that keeps me turning the pages and wondering what happens to the main characters than one that has little character development or a novel that is formulaic.

Liz Moore handled the opioid issue respectfully throughout the book.  And she made me really truly think about how our country could handle the opioid crisis and what or if anything could have been done to save all the lost souls who died because of opioid addiction.   It's a stunning reality and it's not going away on its own or because people choose to look away.  I highly recommend this book.  It is gritty and not for the faint of heart, but it brings the opioid crisis up close and personal.  Sometimes that is what it takes to shed light on a problem that is manifesting all over America today.

Best,

Grace

(Amy)

I Did Right By Me And You. Did You Do Right By Yourself And Me, NC Residents?

 Dear Fellow Residents of North Carolina,

Greetings!  Yes, this is usually the place where I review books or complete a written examination of my most recent experience with a medical professional that went totally askew.  I have been known to write poetry here and call out someone or something in publishing that has completely gone off the rails.  Today, I looked at the percentage of our state population that has completed full vaccination against Covid-19 and I was aghast that only 39.16% of North Carolinians are fully vaccinated.  I'm sorry, but that is HIGHLY DISAPPOINTING! (That does not apply to all of you who are fully vaccinated-  you are the folks with whom I have no beef.  Nor does this apply to the people of North Carolina who are age twelve or younger because there is not a form of the vaccine that is designed for you yet).

As a native North Carolinian, I am fuming.  For heaven's sake people, Florida has a higher number of its population vaccinated than North Carolina!  So what's the problem?  You have time or you can make time or should.  The vaccine is free.  For most folks, it is easy to find a place in which to roll up your sleeve and receive your shot or shots.  Personally, I chose to go with the Pfizer vaccine and had absolutely zero side effects.  I have more pre-existing medical conditions than side effects from both the flu, shingles, and Covid-19 vaccines combined.  And I don't buy excuses.  Don't send hateful comments because honey, I never read any comments here nor on social media.  Don't waste your time.  I am a Generation Xer, I am allergic to people's opinions and all social media.

Here Are 10 Reasons The Population Of North Carolina Should Get The Vaccine Unless You Have A Medical Reason Preventing You From Obtaining It (If you do, I would like to speak with your doctor's head because I really like going toe to toe with those in the medical field).  

1)  It's The Right Thing To Do.    In my opinion, getting the vaccine is the most ethical action you can take as a resident of North Carolina.  You protect yourself, your loved ones, acquaintances, and people you do not even know.

2)  If You Do Not Get The Vaccine, It Could Very Well Cost You Your Life.  Over 600,000 people in the United States have died from Covid-19 or complications arising from it.  Don't become a casualty of the virus.  And yes, people I have known have died from Covid-19 unfortunately.

3) If You Do Not Get The Vaccine, It Could Very Well Cost You A Relative's Life.  I am serious, peeps.  Let's say you opted to NOT get the Covid-19 vaccine.  Then let's say, you get the Covid-19 virus or a variant of it, and pass it to your mom, who also did not obtain the Covid-19 vaccine.  And then mom, dad, grandparent, etc. dies.  That death is tied to you.  I don't want that on my conscience, do you?

4)  You Get The Vaccine Because You Really Do Not Want To Be Sued.  I am as serious as a heart attack folks.  If a person's death can be tied to you, a person who did not get the vaccine and transmitted the virus or its particles to another person who then dies.....Can you say, potential lawsuit?

5)  You Are Holding Back Yourself, Others, And This State From Ridding This Country Of A Known Deadly Virus.  

6)  Get The Vaccine If You Wish To Go To College Or Not.  At least the people who are your compatriots on campus or at work can breathe more easily about residing in a safe environment.  

7)  For Heaven's Sake, Get The Vaccine So People Can Travel Again Without Being Muffled By Masks. When I see people on the national news who have thrown a hissy fit or worse, punched a flight attendant, because the rule is to wear a mask and they choose not to participate, I can also guess that the same person is most likely not vaccinated either.  And then the person winds up being banned from traveling on a particular airline and most likely goes to jail.  You really don't want to be THAT person.

8)  Get The Vaccine So People Who Are Immunocompromised Due To Cancer Or Other Autoimmune Disorders Don't Have To Worry If You Should Be Wearing A Sign That Reads, "Health Hazard", "Toxic", or "Stay Away".  

9)  Get The Vaccine And Stop Participating In Russian Roulette.  If you think you are someone who will not get the virus; therefore, you are not getting the vaccine then you are living a lie.  Because people who have thought that have also found themselves in a hospital for four months and needing a double lung transplant.  Reality Can Bite.

10)  Get The Vaccine So You Can Participate In All Of Life, Not Just Some Of It.  Honestly, this one comes to mind when I think about those folks who will not get to sit inside a restaurant due to not being vaccinated, be restricted on cruises due to not being vaccinated, and lose out on a whole assortment of opportunities because they did not get the vaccine.  N.C. State men's baseball team, I Am Talking To You.  You Could Have Played For The NCAA College World Series And Won It All.  Now,  you and your teammates will be watching the 2021 College World Series instead of winning it.  Damn man, that just blooowwwsss.

Just Get The Vaccine Already.

Grace (Amy)

Review: This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger

Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  Last month I read several books, but the one I will review is This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger.  This was a book selected by a member of the book club I attend.  At 444 pages in the paperback edition, this was not a book I read from start to finish in one day.  The book is about four orphans and has a setting in the Midwest around 1932.  Odie, Moses, Emmy, and Albert are the four orphans who originally meet at an orphanage called the Lincoln School.  The school is for children of Native American descent who have lost their parents.  The school is owned and managed by a couple named The Brickmans.  Mrs. Brickman is the founder/principal of the school.  No one likes Mrs. Brickman and Odie calls her a witch because she is constantly reprimanding him and sending him to sleep in a basement cell.  

Albert is initially revealed to be Odie's brother who is generally never in trouble with Mrs. Brickman; however, he is a wiz at mechanics as he is called upon numerous times to fix any appliance, boat, fence, or distillery.  Emmy is the daughter of one of the teachers at the school named Cora Frost.  Moses is an oprhan of Sioux descent who uses a form of sign language to communicate as when his parents were killed, someone cut out a portion of his tongue so he could never tell anyone who committed the crime.  

Emmy's mom is killed in a tornado right before she had planned to adopt the three boys from Lincoln School so they could help her tend her land and garden as she lost her husband.  Once the tornado passes, the three boys go look for Emmy and her mom.  They find Emmy in an underground cellar, but there is no sign of her mother until one boy discovers her body under mounds of debris.  That is when Odie, Albert, and Moses decide to run away from Lincoln School and take Emmy with them since she has lost both parents and the Brickmans want to adopt Emmy.  The kids utilize a canoe that belonged to Emmy's father to make their way to the Mississippi river.  Albert and Odie want to make it to St. Louis where they have an aunt named Julia who they believe will allow them to live with her.

Along the way, they meet a whole host of entertaining characters who present challenges to them and some who try to help them along their way to St. Louis.    They come upon Jack, a man who has a farm and has lost his wife and child as they left him due to his drinking and volatile behavior.  He uses the boys to work on his farm and has Emmy help make food.  When Odie discovers Jack has stolen their money sack and could potentially hurt Emmy, the boys turn on Jack and are able to escape a bad situation.  They next meet a man named Forrest who is descended from the Sioux tribe and is traveling while looking for work.  The boys think Forrest is there to turn them in to the authorities and collect the reward money that is being offered for capture of both Emmy and all three boys.  They get away from him easily.

The next folks they meet are a part of a traveling religious crusade.  This is where they meet Sister Evie, who leads the evening worship services and performs miraculous acts of healing.  Sister Evie takes in Odie and Emmy and Moses works and resides with the kitchen folks while Albert works and resides with the carpentry/maintenance crew that travels with the crusade.  Odie observes Sid, Sister Evie's publicity manager, pay off folks who were healed at many of the evening services and Odie also finds evidence he believes points to Sid being a bootlegger and drug dealer.  When Albert gets bit by a venomous snake used in the religious crusade evening services, he is taken to a local doctor.  Sid goes to retrieve his anti-venom vials and that is when the kids learn Sid was not into drugs.  The vials Odie found were anti-venom medications which Odie had already destroyed as he thought they were dope.  Albert struggles to overcome the snake bite until someone can get the proper meds to help him recover.

When Odie decides the group should leave the traveling religious crusade, Sister Evie entrusts him with $50 and a sack full of food as the kids continue on their trip.  The boys then keep traveling via the canoe.  They notice that when Emmy sleeps, she has seizures or fits.  Emmy never remembers anything from the fits, but she generally will awake for a moment and tell them something that foretells a future event the group will encounter.  Interestingly, they run into the Sioux Indian named Forrest once again who helps Moses learn about his Sioux heritage while the group takes a break along their trip in a place Odie refers to as Hopersville.  Odie meets another family called The Schofields living in a tent city and develops his first love with the couple's daughter, Maybeth.   When the Schofields leave tent city, Odie opts to give the family all the remaining money his group has.  This does not go over well with Odie's compatriots, especially Albert.  

Finally, the group makes it to St. Paul where the kids look for a person named Gertie who Forrest said could help them for a few days along their trip.   Gertie lives in a shantytown and runs a restaurant with a woman named Flo.  The kids stay with Gertie and Odie, Emmy, and Moses help run the restaurant while Albert tries to help Flo's brother fix the engine of his broken boat.  Odie makes friends with a local kid who teaches him how to jump onto and ride the train cars.  And eventually, Odie realizes he must leave the group since they appear to want to stay with Gertie.  Odie journeys on a rail car until he finally reaches St. Louis and finds Aunt Julia.  I will stop with the summary here because I do not want to give away the multitude of surprises at the end of this well-written book.

In my opinion, this book brought to mind two themes:  family and friendships.  In terms of family, it made me think of who do I define as family?  What is my own heritage?  When I think of home I think of my parents' home and my immediate family, but for the orphans in this book, they essentially made their own family by choosing to be friends and look out for one another.  And in terms of friendship, I think friends are like the family members you choose to have.  People who are not necessarily related via blood, but sometimes you have just as strong a tie with a friend as you would an immediate family member.  In many respects, sometimes a person has a stronger bond with a friend than they may have with any single blood-related family member.    And of course, family and friends are the people who know you best.  They can be the ones who are there for you in tough times and they can be the exact people who also know how to push your buttons.  

Additionally, I saw glimpses of the theme of good vs. evil in this book many times.  And I felt this book demonstrated how people who have been helped by someone they least expected to help them sometimes "pay it forward" and help someone they barely know.  And in the character Odie, I saw myself in that in a perilous situation, Odie often assumes the worst about a person and then later learns the person or their habits were not as bad as he originally assumed them to be.  And in the character Moses, I thought a lot about the Native American population and the horrors they experienced throughout history and today.  And in one couple in this book, I was surprised to read the author's  inference that they were LGBTQ and yet, the whole community surrounding them accepted them and treated them just like family.  This was a truly good book and the character development by the author was just stellar.  Some folks from the book club felt this book reminded them of The Wizard of Oz and Huckleberry Finn.  I would advise you to read the book and determine for yourself what themes or lessons you glean from the book.

Until my next review,

Grace

(Amy)

Review: The Lady's Handbook For Her Mysterious Illness by Sarah Ramey

 Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  It took me about a month to finish this last book I am about to review entitled The Lady's Handbook For Her Mysterious Illness by Sarah Ramey.  To cut to the chase, this book is one woman's call to fellow women who have what this author refers to as "Women Of Mysterious Illnesses" to advocate for the institution of medicine to take more seriously those of us with chronic illness.  Obviously, in the past and oftentimes to this day, there have been more men treating women in various medical specialties and many of those male specialists can and do dismiss symptoms women suffer from and deem those symptoms "all in her head".  And I agree with that portion of content in the book.  And thank heavens, currently more women are going to medical school than men.   I just think the author wrote the book as if it were going to appear in a prestigious medical journal as opposed to writing the book to convey in a more relatable manner the need for medical relevance and advocacy among women who have autoimmune disease or chronic illness.

Essentially Ms. Ramey grew up with parents who are doctors and twice during her life has been diagnosed with Lyme Disease.  Initially, the author has problems even obtaining a specialist who will give her more than twenty minutes of his/her time and take her symptoms seriously.  I think she was diagnosed with what she refers to in the book as ME/CFS or Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  She goes through a mile-long list of medical specialists to even find one who takes her seriously and begins treating her utilizing Functional Medicine.  I can tell you that some of the procedures she endured to try and treat her maladies often caused more damage than she had before she consented to the procedure.  And many times, what one specialist thinks another surgeon is going to perform surgically is mishandled because the medical specialist and the surgeon do not communicate with one another and are most definitely not on the same page.  

The disappointing part of the book for me was that Ms. Ramey had so very much time to sit and think about as well as recover from what is ailing her.  Why?  Because those of us with chronic illness more often do not have the privilege of having parents who make big salaries and can afford to have an ill daughter live with them for two years or pay for a daughter to reside somewhere without a job.  That is not the reality of the majority of women with autoimmune disease or chronic illness. The author even gets evaluated by specialists at a renowned medical specialty hospital and her parents foot the bill.  I am not taking anything away from individuals who suffer from quite serious chronic disease because personally, I have four chronic illnesses I live with on a daily basis.  It was hard for me to relate to this author's experiences because that kind of privilege is not my reality nor is it the reality for the majority of women in this country suffering from autoimmune disease or chronic illness.  I do agree with the concept of women with chronic illness and/or autoimmune disease seeking medical specialists who take an active, respectful interest in their individual medical case and who work in partnership with a patient to devise a treatment plan they can complete that involves a reduction of painful symptoms and helps a patient achieve a better quality of life.

Ms. Ramey does have a clear idea of how the medical system in our country needs to change:  doctors need to listen more and work with a patient to get to the root cause of what is causing a chronic illness.  I work best with a medical specialist who does not dictate my treatment plan, but who helps me devise one with which I agree and believe I can implement.  No doctor should belittle women with chronic illness and suggest that a patient's symptoms are "all in her head".  When I encounter medical specialists with that attitude, I usually leave immediately because there is no need for the doctor to waste my time.  Yes, we need more funding for research on the fundamental causes of autoimmune diseases and chronic illness.  I often see many funding campaigns for breast cancer, prostate cancer, and colon cancer, but not funding campaigns for Lupus, Uveitic glaucoma, or Fibromyalgia.  And yes, I think the idea among patients and doctors that a pill can fix it all is not only foolish, but can cause addiction and lead a patient to never truly uncover the real cause of a medical issue.  

Now, Ms. Ramey appeared to be healed by and wholeheartedly supports Functional Medicine which she describes as medical practice that gets to the root of a malady by addressing triggers of illness such as a person's diet, level of stress, exercise and activity levels, environmental toxins and intestinal toxins, genetics or medical history of a patient, and the microbiome which includes the bacteria living inside and on the body.  No problem.  I totally support it and strive to work actively with my own medical specialists to address all these areas regarding my own chronic illnesses.  I would also add to that list of triggers the amount of emotional duress a patient has such as is the patient in a toxic relationship with his/her significant other?  Is the patient a full-time caregiver to an elderly parent?  Or is this patient plagued by anxiety or depression?  There should be no stigma associated with seeking the help of a psychiatrist or social worker.  Full stop.  End of discussion.  

All elements considered, this is a good book.  I think it could have been written in a more understandable and relatable manner.   As an author, you want as many people with mysterious illnesses, autoimmune disorders, and chronic disease to read this book as possible.  And I am not sure Ms. Ramey achieves that with this particular book because she writes from a more privileged perspective than the vast majority of patients with mysterious illnesses.  Also, the length of the book initially excited me because I thought as a reader, "Finally, someone who is going to tell it like it is!"  Parts of the book accomplished that objective while other portions of the book just left me wondering what does throwing in this information have to do with helping female patients who suffer from mysterious illnesses and chronic disease?  The best I can suggest is that people read the book for themselves and form their own opinions about how well this book is written, particularly if you do truly suffer from autoimmune disease, chronic illness, or both.

Until my next book review,

Grace (Amy)

Review: The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson

 Dear Book Loves,

This week I opted to read and review a book I was assigned in a book club titled The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson.  This narrative revolved around a young woman named Cussy who lived with her Pa in the Kaintuck mountains of Tennessee.  Cussy's mother has already died and is buried on a hill above the home Cussy shares with her father.  Cussy and her family are part of a group of people who were known for having a blue tint to their skin.  The blue-tinted skin disorder is inherited and it is known as Methemoglobinemia.  Several people in the mountains where Cussy lives also have the disorder.   

Cussy's Pa works in a coal mine and is often looked to by his colleagues to help lead the mine workers' union.  Cussy takes a position with the Worker's Progress Administration founded by President F.D. Roosevelt to help provide wages for the people of the United States as the country was recovering from the Depression.  As part of her job, Cussy rides a mule through the rivers, mud, and other debris along the mountain pathways where she lives delivering books and literature to her patrons.  The books are donated by larger libraries within the state.  The patrons to whom Cussy delivers books are incredibly impoverished and often have nearly nothing to eat unless they grow the food or hunt the local wildlife.  Many homes are well-weathered and the walls inside are often lined with newspaper.  There is a local school where Cussy delivers books and most of her patrons call her "Book Woman".  

Now Cussy's Pa wants to see his daughter married before he leaves this earth.  In these parts, a father would light a courting candle inside a lantern and hang it on a post outside a home in order to let available suitors know a daughter was eligible for marriage.  People in and around Kaintuck generally avoid the "blue-skinned people".  Actually, in Cussy's local town where she goes to the post office to help unpack and sort books for delivery, she is often treated as an outcast.  People look down upon her and oftentimes mistreat her.  She does have friends among the other book delivery employees.

Cussy's first marriage does not end well as the man only wanted to marry her to also obtain the land her father owned. One of the deceased husband's relatives often stalks Cussy both at her home and along her book route.  Cussy's biggest delight is delivering new reading material to her patrons while they return what she has previously delivered them.  There is Angeline, who asks for Cussy's help because her husband was shot while trying to steal a chicken to feed his family.  Angeline is pregnant and is quite tiny throughout her pregnancy due to the scarcity of food.  Winnie is the teacher at the local school where Cussy delivers books.  Winnie witnesses many of her students die from starvation.  One school boy named Henry is especially fond of Cussy and wraps a LifeSaver in a tissue as a gift for her.  All sorts of interesting patrons line Cussy's book route including one new patron named Jack Lovett who arrived from the West where he had worked for the U.S. President as a builder.  

Cussy tries to assist all her patrons as many do not know how to read or write.  An elderly woman named Loretta is blind and Cussy often reads to her.  Cussy and her Pa along with other blue-skinned people are not welcomed at local town events.  And then a doctor takes an interest in Cussy as he wishes to study what causes the blue-tinged skin in her family.  Low and behold, after dragging Cussy several times to a hospital and besieging her with tests, he and a colleague discover the inherited blood disorder causing the blue tint to Cussy's skin.  The Doc gives Cussy medication for the blood disorder in the form of Methylene.  It works and drains the blue tint from her skin, but it also has dire side effects and does not cause the skin to maintain a more normal skin tone forever.  Cussy is simply amazed by how the medication changes her skin tone, but as happy as she is to look "normal", folks in town still mistreat her.  It's almost like once you are designated as an outcast, you are always an outcast even if you are medically treated to help appear more like regular, normal people.  

The ending of this book is incredible and I will not give it away here.  I will say that I am glad the author created the ending she did for this book because though readers often like a book where the narrative closes and all the questions are answered and all the book's characters live happily ever after; life is generally not that way and superb narratives do not have to end that way in my opinion.

I highly recommend the book.  I never knew about the true to life blue-skinned people who lived often bleak and scary lives in the mountains of Kentucky.  Their hardships, burdens, and small acts of kindness should be known by all of us even if it just helps readers come to understand the virtues of being humble and helping others learn to be more aware of their own bias toward people who are labelled as "different'".  In my opinion, differences are what makes each of us unique and this world could use a heck of a lot more kindness and thoughtfulness being extended to everyone.

Best,

Grace (Amy)

Review: Chasing My Cure: A Doctor's Race to Turn Hope into Action

 Dear Lit Loves,

For the past week I decided to tackle my favorite genre, memoir, once again.  I selected a book by Dr. David Fajgenbaum.  It gained my interest because I had initially heard about him and this book via our local news.  Dr. Fajgenbaum writes about being a doctor and being diagnosed with a rare disorder known as Castleman's disease.  Since I have a few interesting and somewhat rare diagnoses myself, I wondered how a person in the medical realm would cope with a rare disease for which there is no cure.

Dr. Fajgenbaum chose to attend Georgetown for college where he was also the quarterback for their football team.  It was unsettling to him to begin noticing symptoms that are worrisome.  It started with weakness and fatigue which was strange because he is young and healthy.  The next worrisome symptoms included what he refers to as blood moles appearing on his skin.  Then he enters a hospital having gained 30 pounds of fluid weight while he had lost 50 pound of muscle weight.  Dr. Fajgenbaurm had already lost his mother to brain cancer and now he was facing symptoms that overwhelmingly made him feel as if was getting ready to knock on death's door.  In other words, his organs began shutting down.  He received dialysis, struggled with brain fog, and continued with numerous tests as initially doctors thought he had a form of lymphoma.  Dr. Fajgenbaum's father was an orthopedic surgeon in Raleigh so after conferring with his dad, he was moved to the hospital in North Carolina where his dad practiced.  Eventually, after receiving seven forms of carpet-bombing chemotherapy, Dr. Fajgenbaum begins to recover.  

Dr. Fajgenbaum eventually convinces his physician to complete a lymph node biopsy.  The lymph node biopsy did not show that he had a cancer like lymphoma, but a rare disease called idiopathic multicentric castleman disease.  He googles Castleman's disease while in the hospital and learns that most people only survive f short time and it involved lymph nodes that became enlarged and began producing substances that led to organ failure.  Once he survives two bouts with Castleman's disease that left him in the hospital for weeks, he decides he is going to find the guru physician who had experpience diagnosing  and treating Castleman's disease.  That led to a Dr. Van Rhee at the University of Arkansas.  Even upon seeing Dr. Van Rhee, he learns that even people who specialize in rare diseases do not have the keys to unlock and treat most rare diseases.  It's the beginning of a collaborative patient/doctor relationship with Dr. Van Rhee and eventually a physician to physician relationship.

Dr. Fajgenbaum decides to forego his medical residency to work on his MBA.  He had started along with Dr. Van Rhee an organization known as Castleman Disease Network Collaboration.  It started small with just the assistance of family and friends.  After five relapses of Castleman's disease, Dr. Fajgenbaum decides to ramp up the size of the Castleman Disease Network Collaboration to include international patients and researchers for the study of the cause and treatment of Castleman's disease.  Along with combining forces with a pharmaceutical company, Dr. Fajgenbaum truly gets to see some progress in ruling out causes of the disease while also coming up with diagnostic criteria to assist doctors with diagnosing the disease.  

Although he had yet to see his organization for Castleman's disease determine a cause for Castleman's disease, he learned through his own multiple treatment options what worked for him and what did not.  Along the way, Dr. Fajgenbaum met other patients with Castleman's disease and was able to acquire access to the lymph node specimens and labs for those patients to keep in a database and utilize in future research to assist in understanding and treating the disease.  

To me, Castleman's disease sounded a lot like the lymphoma from which I lost my dad.  I remembered the multiple chemo drugs utilized in my dad's treatment along with a stem cell transplant and monoclonal antibody treatment.  Both diseases will humble a patient in the blink of an eye because when the patient relapses, the treatments can take you almost to the brink of death.  In my father's case, he fought a rare lymphoma for twelve years before finally developing bacterial pneumonia during his last form of treatment which led to subsequent heart and lung failure.  Like Dr. Fajgenbaurm, my dad had a whole new appreciation for each day of life he was given.  And I was impressed at how down-to-earth Dr. Fajgenbaum was able to relay his experiences with each relapse of Castleman's disease.  

Rare diseases cause you to look at life differently.  My own rare disorders have given me a greater appreciation for the ability to hear, see, and be able to maintain balance physically.  I knew early on in my first rare disease occurrence that I would never be a U.S. Olympic gymnist as I can rarely maintain my balance when standing with one foot raised and the other foot on the floor.  And I quickly realized at age eighteen, doctors don't have all the answers and they are fallible as well.  Do I think researchers could have utilized my own case for more and better research involving treatments for my rare disorders?  Most definitely.  The most important lessons I learned while living with rare diseases is the necessity to locate and be seen by specialists, usually at university hospitals, that have diagnosed and treated diseases like mine.  And lastly, like Dr. Fajgenbaum, i became my own best healthcare advocate.

This book is insightful and well-written.  I highly recommend it for Castleman's disease patients and the medical community, but I can tell you that even if you are a patient diagnosed with other forms of rare disease or not, you will learn some valuable life lessons in this book.

Till my next review.

Best,

Grace  (Amy)

Review: A Time For Mercy by John Grisham

 Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  It's been a couple of months since I last posted a review thanks to my own health issues, the Covid pandemic, holidays, and completing final edits on a manuscript before its submission.  When I want to take a break from memoir (which is rare), I turn to fiction.  When I want to read a book that keeps me turning the pages and makes me stop to think what I would do if I were in a particular character's shoes, I turn to John Grisham.  It never hurts that Grisham generally places his book settings in the south as well.  The most recent book of his that I just finished reading is titled A Time For Mercy.  This book for me was like driving a loaded Mustang GT.  Right out of the starting gate, I've got the pedal to the metal and it's not long before I am cruising in first place while listening to AC/DC.

First, if you can't take an author who tackles big issues in a southern setting, this might not be the book for you.  If you're like me and love books set in the south that address the big issues we as a society are dealing with today then reading this book is almost like having a winning lottery ticket. (Almost), 

The book opens with lawyer Jake Brigance in Clanton, Mississippi who is called by a judge on a Sunday afternoon and handed the legal defense of a sixteen year old who everyone in Clanton appears to want dead.  Why?  Because he killed an off-duty police officer.  You then get a play by play narrative of the circumstances that led to a sixteen year old male teenager murdering a police officer who was dating his mom.  Next, we discover the police officer is not the upstanding man people think he is.  Stuart Kofer, the police officer, has more problems than he can count.  He served in the military, but was abruptly discharged.  He has been married twice and divorced twice.  He has a McDaddy drinking problem along with brutish behavior and gambling problems as well.  He has his own home and has recently invited sixteen year old Drew's mother to come with her kids and live with him.  Drew's mom, Josie, works multiple part-time jobs, has served time in prison, and lost custody of Drew and his younger sister, Kiera, twice.  

The problem is Stuart Kofer has a truly dark side and he can be brutal after an entire day and night of drinking and carousing.  He frequently returns home at night to beat Josie.  He's also berating Drew and when no one's home, Stuart Kofer rapes Drew's sister, Kiera, on multiple occasions.  He tells Kiera that if she tells her mom or anyone about it, he will be forced to kill her, her mom, and her brother.  Drew and Josie have no idea about Stuart raping Kiera.  So one night Josie is waiting for Stuart Kofer to return home at two in the morning while Drew and Kiera are upstairs behind a locked bedroom door with furniture shoved up against it.  Drew and Kiera hear commotion downstairs and then they hear Stuart Kofer ascending the stairs to the room in which they've locked themselves.  When Stuart is unable to get inside the room to reach Drew and Kiera, he goes to his bedroom and passes out cold.  

After it has been quiet long enough, Drew and Kiera venture out of a bedroom looking for their mom and wary that Stuart Kofer could be lurking somewhere around the house.  They find their mom, Josie, unconscious on the floor of the kitchen and neither one can detect that their mom is breathing.  Both kids assume Stuart has killed their mother.  While Kiera is downstairs attempting to rouse her mom, Drew goes upstairs and finds Stuart passed out in the bedroom.  He then calls 911.  Kiera is still trying to rouse her lifeless mom when she hears a gunshot.  Drew comes downstairs and Kiera asks him if he shot Stuart Kofer which Drew answers in the affirmative and then sits down on a couch and appears to descend into a catatonic state.

The Clanton, MS police arrive to Stuart Kofer's house, detect a pulse after examining Josie, and then run upstairs to find Stuart Kofer dead from a bullet discharged from his own Glock which is lying beside him.  Kiera rides with her mom as emergency personnel take her to the hospital and after informing the Clanton, MS police that Drew shot Stuart Kofer. Drew is put in handcuffs and placed in a cell in the Clanton, MS jail.  This is the case attorney Jake Brigance is given by the judge in this case, Omar Noose.

The rest of the book covers what happens to Drew as he is tried for capital murder as an adult.  His mom is taken to a hospital where she suffers from a broken jaw.  Kiera learns she is pregnant and is forced to tell her mom.  Stuart Kofer's family wants Drew to be given the death penalty.  Jake Brigance is a small town attorney who is barely making ends meet and must defend Drew on a shoestring budget along with the fact that this area of rural Mississippi is highly conservative.  

I know an author is good when I start considering from each character's perspective what I would do in a given situation.  How will Jake Brigance defend Drew Gamble?  Will he claim Insanity,?  Self-defense?  Will Kiera choose to keep the baby, have an abortion, or give the baby up for adoption? Will Josie be able to recover not just from the beating, but having no place to live and being in debt along with the duress of discovering all the trouble she has brought on herself and her children via bad decisions?  How will Drew cope sitting in a jail cell for months waiting for a trial?  Will the officers who worked with Stuart Kofer admit that they knew about his seriously problematic drinking and the two previous 911 calls Josie made regarding abuse by Stuart Kofer?  What will the Kofer family do to see justice served?  And what will the Kofer family do if or when they discover Kiera was raped by Stuart and is now carrying his baby?  And just as importantly, what would you do if you were selected as a juror in the trial of Drew Gamble vs. the state of Mississippi whereby the charge is capital murder?

I'm not giving away what anyone does or what happens as the story continues to unfold.  Let's just say that this book will make you think about domestic violence, extreme alcoholism, race relations, murder committed by a minor, chaotic childhoods, police loyalty, and how the choices people make can lead to dire circumstances not just for themselves but others as well.  

I absolutely loved the book.  I highly recommend it.  And I can't wait till  I find another book by John Grisham and have the time to kick back and read it!

All Best,

Grace (Amy)