Sunday, December 15, 2019

Yes Virginia, Sometimes You Even Have To Fire Your Dentist

Dear Literary Loves,

Folks, there has not been too much to shout about in terms of memoir releases as of late.  And since we are bringing 2019 to a close, I have been busy getting any remaining health appointments completed that needed to be checked off for the year.  Thus, I have discovered in my diligent pursuit of optimal health that there is a first time for everything including firing one's dentist.

Initially, when I move to a new city and state I review all dental offices and dentists in a three mile radius of my address.  Once that's accomplished I begin looking at the education and experience levels of dentists.  I'll be straight, there are some dentists I pass on because the school where they studied is not ranked highly.  I have always had male dentists and I am noticing that quite a few female dentists make up the profession now. So when I selected a dentist upon moving to North Carolina, I went with one who had been trained by and studied under an oral surgeon I utilized for a skin grafting surgery in my 20s with many moons of experience under his belt and who did such an outstanding skin grafting procedure on my lower gum that no dentist has ever been able to tell I have had that type of oral surgery done.

I even went to visit the dental practice of the new dentist.  You can tell a lot by just sitting in a medical office waiting room.  Are patients fidgeting because their appointment time has already come and gone and they are still waiting to be seen?  If the office staff answers a call from someone needing to be seen for a dental emergency, is that person able to see the dentist the same day?  How professional is the dental hygiene staff?  How long does it take the front office staff to notice that someone is sitting in their waiting room that did not check in for an appointment? How clean is the office?  Is the dentist whose name is on the front door the actual dentist that sees patients for an exam after a dental cleaning? Are there dental patients who are calling or present in the office complaining about the cost of a prior dental procedure and the lack of the practice's willingness to work with them regarding payment?

So the dentist I selected scored outstandingly well for the first two years my husband and I received dental care from her/him.  But then I heard that he/she was opening a second office elsewhere in the city.  RED FLAG.  SIRENS START BLARING IN MY HEAD.  Though this means more revenue for the selected dentist, it also means she/he is spreading him/herself too thin.  Then the dental hygiene staff started coming and going.  My husband was able to get an appointment with the next most experienced hygienist after our original hygienist left; however, it took three appointments before the office staff could get me correctly booked with that same hygienist.

Additionally, I had been informed by my selected dentist that one of my crowns would need to be redone because it was not fitted properly at the base causing food and bacteria to be trapped in the gap between my gum and crown.  During my next two dental visits, my selected dentist said absolutely nothing about the crown needing replacement??  Did he/she forget about the problem?  Was the problem not marked as an ongoing issue that needed to be addressed in my future dental visits?  Would my dentist not be liable if some major dental impairment resulted due to him/her not replacing the crown?  I am a stickler about meticulous dental hygiene so naturally all these red flags were causing anxiety in terms of being assured my dental care was of the highest quality.

Then the straw that broke the camel's back occurred.  My husband went for a dental cleaning one Monday morning at 7:30 a.m.  Later that evening he came home to tell me he thought the dental hygienist was "pushing" for him to agree to fluoride treatments.  Then our selected dentist appeared for the dental exam, showed him an x-ray and proceeded to tell my husband that a small pencil dot of darkness behind one of his upper front teeth was indicative of dead tissue which would indicate the necessity of a root canal in the future.  My husband is an electrical engineer who has not had even a cavity in fifteen years.  He demanded to examine the spot on the x-ray himself.  As he informed me, there was no dark pencil dot behind the front tooth exhibited on the x-ray.  There was a fuzzy spot, but there was definitely no darkness to it or shadowing.   He mentioned this inconsistency to the dentist and said he wanted a second opinion before he would ever consent for a major dental procedure such as a root canal.

Thus, we have decided there are too many incidents whereby our selected dentist and his/her dental office staff have been inconsistent with our dental care.  From the time I learned of our dentist opening a second practice, I made sure to make it known that I did not want any other dentist conducting my dental examinations or procedures.  At times, I have been called the day before my appointment and told the dentist would not be there during my scheduled appointment.  This is not adequate time for me to rebook the appointment as it may take another two months before I can secure an opening for a dental cleaning with my preferred dental hygienist.  And I do not want to go in for my dental cleaning and play musical chairs when it comes to the dentist who is conducting my dental exams.  That is not fair to me as a patient.  It reeks of unprofessionalism and neglect of care.  Remember, dentists must have malpractice insurance as well as any doctor.

So yes, I fired my dentist and have now found one that meets my standards in terms of educational background and experience.  The new dentist has a partner so if I have a dental emergency I am assured if my dentist is not on call to assist me then his dental partner most definitely will be.  And my new dentist has a dental partner with at equally optimal education and experience level so I feel assured my dental care could be handled judiciously and in an expert manner even if my newly selected dentist had to be away from the practice for a given period of time.  Plus, these are the only two dentists that will be following my dental care.  I will not arrive for an appointment and suddenly have a "substitute" dentist who I have never met suddenly present him/herself to conduct my dental exam.

If you ever feel your doctor or dentist is giving you subpar or second rate care do not hesitate to look for a new provider.  Sometimes doctors and dentists are attracted to money over quality dental or medical care and that is just the reality of the world we live in today.  I know that I do not have to settle for any doctor or dentist who does not have their priorities straight; therefore, I can take my business elsewhere to a doctor/dentist that values quality dental care over the almighty dollar.  Having a choice in who conducts my medical and dental care is my fundamental right and I never take it for granted.  Neither should you.

Best,
Grace
(Amy)

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Dear Doc, Please Don't "DISS" The Patient (Or At Least Not This One)

Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  I am taking a break from reviewing books as quite honestly I have not recently come across any interesting reads, particularly for the memoir genre.  Instead I've decided to use this blog to reflect on some of my more recent insulting and unprofessional encounters with medical specialists.

Dear Doctor,  it would be highly advisable to not "Diss" a patient.  Is it me or have some medical specialists in particular just become downright unprofessional and rude in their behavior toward patients??  If these medical specialists didn't have us and our copays and health insurance, they would not be who they are or where they are, right?  Yet, as a full-time patient who frequents hospitals, clinics, and medical offices, the unthinkable and unimaginable just keep happening.

Two weeks ago I went to visit one of my numerous medical specialists.  I was informed by her office staff when I signed in that my doctor was running fifteen minutes behind already and I had a morning appointment.  To my amazement, all ten people already residing in the waiting room were doing nothing but playing with their phones.  I hate cell phones.  Cell phones and social media both contribute to the dehumanization of life itself.  In fact, I call social media "antisocial media" because no one is truly connecting with anyone, folks.  You're just interacting with a device for crying out loud!  This Generation Xer's motto has become:  Do Something Great For Society Today:  Take A Hammer To A Cell Phone Or Even Better, Flush A Cell Phone!!

So I proceed to read my book while waiting for my appointment when I hear someone seemingly scratching at the office door entrance or batting at the door handle.  Because everyone else was busy jabbing away at their phones, I opened the office door to find a young staff member holding what looked to be a ginormous order from Starbucks.  Now I detest coffee and have never crossed the threshold of a Starbucks in my life, but obviously someone needed their Starbucks fix at this particular medical practice.  Thank the Lord I have never needed caffeine to get my horses riled up enough to crush the rest of the field in The Kentucky Derby.

Still waiting for my appointment and trying to read my book, I'm conscious that other patients are being called back for their appointments.  I figure my specialist had an emergency that morning which is why she's running behind schedule.  When a door opens and I see my medical specialist allow the patient with the appointment before mine to exit, I'm already picking up my purse and putting away my book when a strange thing happens.  My specialist does not wave me back to her office.  Instead, she holds up one index finger indicating she needs a moment and is not ready to see me yet.  Joy, I think and try to remain calm.  Deep breathing ensues. Maybe she's taking a bathroom break?  Or taking her own medication??

Next thing I know, my medical specialist is intermingling with the office staff who I can readily see through a glass partition and ingesting what looks like a double grande latte with whipped topping.  She is also simultaneously chatting up the office staff about some television program they all must watch and laughing.  This contributed to another delay as I remain in the waiting room steaming with anger.  How rude!  How unprofessional!  How arrogant!  How would I not interpret this behavior as a sign that I as a patient am not a priority and my time is obviously not as valuable as hers.  It was absolutely demeaning and I knew as I sat fuming that I had lost respect for this medical specialist, would never recommend her to anyone, and most likely would not give her a glowing recommendation on any online medical rating system.

Presently, I'm looking to replace this medical specialist.  As I have always maintained throughout my endless doctor visits and interaction with those revered members of the healthcare community, you can always "fire" a doctor or medical specialist.  I know because I have fired more than my fair share of doctors.  Let this be a lesson dear doctors, when your double grande latte and incessant, irrelevant chatter takes precedence over respecting me as a patient and seeing me in a timely fashion, you not only lose this patient, but the income generated from me and the many others I will warn to stay away from you when asked who I see in the medical community for a particular ailment.

Long live empowered patients!!

Best,
Grace
(Amy)

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Dear Anne Curry, TBS, and TNT: What You Need To Know

Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings Literature Loves.  Today I am writing a blog post directly to the lovely reporter and broadcaster Anne Curry along with the television stations known as TBS and TNT.

Dear Anne Curry, TNT, and TBS,

Hi.  I see where you have a new show titled "Chasing The Cure" whereby a group of medical specialists, a psychologist, and other experts put their heads together regarding the mysterious medical cases of varying patients.  While I think this is an intriguing idea and format, I want to let you know that the editorial department for the show " Chasing The Cure"  has never responded to my case or question and it's been over a month since I sent my inquiry.

I call myself a medical unicorn because I've dealt with multiple chronic conditions from the early age of sixteen.  I developed Uveitis in only the right eye at age sixteen, Meniere's disease in only the left ear at age eighteen, and Uveitic glaucoma at the ripe age of thirty-two which is also when I had my first cataract surgery.  I have also through early detection been treated for basal cell carcinoma and squamous cell carcinoma on each arm.  Evidently, I have an underlying autoimmune condition that gives rise to Uveitis, Uveitic glaucoma, and retina swelling, but no medical specialist has been able to confirm what the exact autoimmune condition is.  At Emory Hospital, I was thought to have Cogan's syndrome; however, there is no way to test for it.  Now, I am treated at Duke University Hospital and the educated guess from my medical specialists there is Sarcoidosis; however, to receive an "official" diagnosis Sarcoidosis must be present in at least two organs and thus far only my right eye has shown evidence of the granulomas present in ocular sarcoidosis.  It's rather a conundrum isn't it??

All these distinguishing chronic conditions and the as yet to be confirmed autoimmune disorder that gives rise to them have dictated and informed the choices I've had to make in my life and how I live my life on a daily basis.  I'm saying right here and now that it's not just physicians who are "chasing the cure",  it's real ordinary patients like myself that are on the front lines of medical anomalies.  So why do only medical specialists and physicians seem to be the ones who are selected to write their stories of unusual medical cases?  Why are we not hearing from the patients who are chasing a diagnosis and battling health insurance companies, trying to find money for deductibles, and experiencing the good and bad of our health care system in the United States?  Yes, that's what I want to know:  WHY ARE WE NOT HEARING FROM PATIENTS LIKE MYSELF WITHOUT MEDICAL DEGREES, A SIX FIGURE INCOME, A PRESTIGIOUS CAREER POSITION AT A RENOWNED UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL, OR A PHENOMENAL SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE??
Don't you in the television and publishing worlds believe the average, ordinary citizen's patient experiences are equally important?  And how about those patients like myself who are female and have to cope with not just chronic disease, but a discombobulated medical system, the greedy and oftentimes discriminating health insurance companies, and the prevalence of male physicians and specialists who are demeaning and insulting to their female patients??  When are you going to give attention to those of us who can really tell you what is right and wrong with medicine today???

Till my next post,
Grace
(Amy)

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

A Book Lover's Comparison Of Shopping For Books At Barnes & Noble Versus Amazon

Dear Lit Loves,

Oh wow.  I just had one of the most interesting revelations when it comes to shopping for books.  I was preparing a list of what to read next after I finish one of the best fiction books I've read in a long time which is Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens.    I selected my next "to read" books to place on my shopping list.  Then I checked book prices at Amazon first.  And when I had an opportunity to go browse in my local Barnes & Noble I considered my book expenses and my shopping experiences there.  First, let's do a book to book price comparison between Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

1)  Book One:  The Nest by Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney.
     Amazon Price for paperback version:  $7.44 (prime membership discount added)
     Barnes & Noble Price for paperback version:  $12.23
     (Note that the Barnes & Noble price reflects a 20% promo discount as well as my 10% member
      discount)
     In terms of price, Amazon beats Barnes & Noble by $4.79 for the paperback version.

2)  The Garden of Small Beginnings by Abbi Waxman.
      Amazon Price for paperback version:  $10.96 (prime membership discount added).
      Barnes & Noble Price for paperback version:  $14.40 (10% membership discount added).
      In terms of price, Amazon beats Barnes and Noble by $3.44 once again for the paperback version.

3)  Then She Was Gone:  A Novel by Lisa Jewell.
     Amazon Price for paperback version:  $8.78 (prime membership discount added).
     Barnes & Noble Price for paperback version:  $14.40 (10% membership discount added).
     In terms of price, Amazon wins once again by a savings of $5.62 for the paperback version.

My total price in terms of cost for the above books in paperback format:

     Amazon:  $27.18
     Barnes & Noble:  $44.11
 
Total book savings using Amazon to buy books instead of Barnes & Noble is $16.93.

In conclusion, I was a bit astonished at how much more I saved on the purchase of these three books from Amazon instead of Barnes & Noble and this is taking into account that I have an Amazon Prime membership discount, can order from the comfort of my home office, obtain free shipping, and the books would be delivered to my door in two days.

Yes folks, there is something to be said for the in-store experience of shopping for books.  I generally appreciate the quiet surroundings of a brick and mortar store; however, during my shopping experience today at Barnes & Noble as I was looking for these three books there was one elderly man asleep in a chair by the magazine section (I knew he was asleep because he was snoring).  I had one middle-aged woman stop me while I was browsing for my three books to inquire where she could pay for her books.  The store was jam-packed with merchandise and not just of the literary variety.  I'm not crazy about Barnes & Noble carrying games, home gifts, and toys for children.  Additionally, there was only one sales clerk available so I waited fifteen minutes to purchase my books. When I visit a store to purchase reading material, I am really only interested in literature so I definitely don't want the experience to begin feeling like I am shopping at Target or Walmart.  Can Barnes & Noble continue to compete with the Amazon online shopping experience?   It's going to be difficult in my opinion unless a Barnes & Noble membership gives more of a discount in price of books and also offers better in-store perks to the buyer.  Also, Barnes & Noble must make some changes in terms of the atmosphere of their stores and the focus of the merchandise that they carry.  Just my thoughts on this topic and now you know my reading list for the rest of the month of September and first half of October!
Until my next post,
Grace
(Amy)

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Review: A Beginner's Guide To The End by Dr. BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger

Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  Today I am reviewing the book titled A Beginner's Guide To The End by Dr. BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger.  The book held interest for me as I have always wanted a really good book about all the emotions, tasks, and revelations about the end of life.  Unlike most people who would rather live in the dark about death or live in denial about it, I am one of those folks who would rather know what is coming and how to prepare.  I was a bit skeptical about a doctor writing about the emotional aspects of death which is what I found most difficult when my father died four years ago.  This book does do a fantastic job of giving you a head start on what to think about and do in relation to preparing yourself for an immediate family member's death and getting documentation ready for when we all pass on to the great beyond.

Initially, I liked that the book addressed what a living will is and why it's important.  Basically, a living will outlines to what extremes you want medical personnel to go should you have a medical emergency and not be able to speak for yourself.  Heads up, I am now asked for this document anytime I have outpatient or inpatient surgery.  This part of the book reminded me of all the confusion surrounding Terry Schiavo and whether to keep her on life support or not.  If you're not familiar with the case it demonstrates the struggle that can occur when you have two opposing forces, in this case her husband and parents, who want different treatment options.  Even if you are age twenty I would encourage you to think about having a living will and letting your family members know if you wish to be an organ donor. 

The book also does include a section about the need for most people to have an official will that has been composed by an attorney and kept up-to-date based on how one's life changes over the course of time.  A will basically instructs family members and others how you wish for remaining assets to be distributed upon your death.  Personally, I think it should also include instructions to family members about your funeral such as do you opt for cremation, burial, or a "natural" burial.  If someone passes and does not have a will then the immediate family members must wait until all of the deceased's assets go through probate or the court system before any assets can be distributed. 

This author does an excellent job of explaining the difference between hospice and palliative care.  Actually, I'm eternally grateful my parents often took me with them when I was younger to go visit friends, relatives, or acquaintances who had opted for hospice care.  I found hospice comforting and more like home than residing in a hospital until death.  I have known people who did not get to visit or be with their grandparents when they passed because they were so scared to visit a hospice facility.  I am so glad my father opted for hospice care at the end of his life because it felt more peaceful and comforting than if he had passed in the often sterile, frenzied state of a hospital.

And it's always good to remember that even if you don't want to think about death, you may very well be asked by a relative to be their patient advocate or durable power-of-attorney to help make medical decisions if a relative with a terminal illness should fall into a coma.  This is why it is so very important to have these conversations with not just your parents and siblings, but your spouse and children.  This book devoted an entire section to helping children cope with death which is very much needed in this day and age.

Overall, I thought this was a highly informative book and one I will surely keep for future reference.  I do think we need more books by patients coping and dealing with a terminal diagnosis and more books on the emotional and mental challenges of death.  Death is never easy but the least you can do for yourself and those you love is Be Prepared.

Till my next post,
Grace
(Amy)

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Dear Julia Roberts, (Yes, I Am Speaking Of The Actress)

Dear Mrs. Julia  Roberts (Moder),

Greetings!  I was not sure which last name you prefer unknown strangers to use when they speak with you so I just included both "Roberts" and  "Moder" so as not to step on anyone's toes.  We southern gals are generally known for minding our manners and exhibiting respect.

I just wanted to let you know that there is no shame in not being nominated for an Emmy; however, I truly thought that you should have been nominated for your role in "Homecoming".  I found the whole series riveting.  Of course, I have to admit that as a Southern Feminist I have been a fan of yours for years.  Seriously, I knew you were the "real deal" when I watched the movie titled "Erin Brockovich".  Oh law, talk about taking no prisoners!  And when you won the Oscar for the movie, I was watching thinking, "Well, I'll never know fame such as Julia's as a small town southern gal so I'll just live the dream vicariously through Julia Roberts."  I never had aspirations to be an actress and I probably should have never developed aspirations to attempt becoming a traditionally published author from the south.  By training, I am a Middle School Educator.  I could not continue that line of work as I developed Uveitic Glaucoma, Meniere's Disease, and now an autoimmune disorder that causes my own immune system to attack my bodily organs.  So I thought I would try my luck at writing and publishing.

I tried to secure a literary agent for ten years while writing four full manuscripts and accompanying book proposals.  In my case, the rejection letters from literary agents were and are brutal.  I actually received one rejection written on the back of a business card.  And when you write in the memoir genre as I do, God Help You If You Are Not A Famous Person, A Notable Physician, A Woman Frequently Seen On Morning Television, A Woman Who Has "Leaned In", or A Person Who Has Achieved Notoriety Through A McDaddy Number Of Social Media Followers.  And then of course, there is the notation by literary agents of voice in my writing which can be described as straight-shooting, no-holds-barred southern which literary agents tend to abhor-  you would think I had committed a felony for heaven's sake and needed to be sent directly to Litchfield Prison on "Orange Is The New Black!!"

You handled the Emmy snub well by noting via Instagram that you were in good company along with George Clooney and Emma Stone who did not receive Emmy nominations for their work in television either.   And as for me and my quest to become traditionally published?  I most likely have a snowball's chance in hell of it actually happening though I have led an unusual life and make candid observations about the world in which we live today.  The good news is that I don't think you will ever have to throw in the towel when it comes to your profession, Mrs. Roberts Moder.  I can't imagine you ever having to endure that reality.  As for me, I probably will endure the reality of throwing in the towel on my traditional publishing dreams along with potentially losing my sight, hearing, and having to ingest chemo medications for the rest of my life just to keep my immune system from attacking my bodily organs.  I'll always continue to live my aspirations for success through you Mrs. Roberts Moder because you give a woman like me something others cannot:  It's called HOPE.

All Best,
Grace
(Amy)

Saturday, May 4, 2019

What's A Southern Writer To Do??

Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings.  I see that at least thirty of the 100 counties in North Carolina had schools that participated in the North Carolina March For Education on May 1st, 2019.  That's still too few counties and too few schools folks if you want to see REAL change with this stubborn, ornery legislature we have sitting in the halls of Congress and on the board of education in Raleigh, N.C.  Thank you, Governor Roy Cooper, for being present at the rally and speaking!  Thank God we have you as governor of our state.  Personally, I will try and motivate more people to vote for individuals in Congress and on the board of education to try to support you and your efforts to keep North Carolina progressive come each and every state election. 

Meanwhile, as most of my friends and acquaintances know, I chose to walk away from teaching in North Carolina.  This was mostly due to the fact that I have several, unusual chronic illnesses that I have been plagued with since the ripe age of sixteen.  I'm losing my hearing thanks to Meniere's disease; I'm losing my sight thanks to Uveitis and Uveitic glaucoma (not to mention a swelling retina that just happened to occur recently), and I have learned that my potential true autoimmune disease underlying or giving rise to the previously mentioned chronic illnesses is sarcoidosis or at least my Duke retina specialist says I have the ocular form of it.  Technically, a patient has to demonstrate sarcoidosis in at least two organs before he/she can be "officially" diagnosed with it.  Sarcoidosis can show up in the liver, kidneys, lungs, heart, skin, and eyes.  Evidently, my autoimmune system is attacking my organs and specifically in my case, my eyes and who knows what else in the future.  In order to tamp down my immune system such that it will not wreak havoc with my body, I take oral chemotherapy once each week.  And that medication my dear friends is wicked.  After taking it each week, my energy goes out the window, just the smell of food makes me feel wretched, and my gastrointestinal tract gets placed on the roller coaster ride from hell.  Finally, I had a medical specialist say to me, "You know, I think you are going to have to step away from teaching till some measure of stability can be achieved with all the chronic illnesses you have currently."  I didn't think that would mean "forever".

So, after reading the memoir titled Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom several years ago, I had the ridiculous notion that I could write a book like that and it would still allow me to maintain a way to "teach", but using a different format.  Someone should have knocked me out right then with a two by four, thrown me in Lake Jordan, and said, "Wake the hell up!  That's the most idiotic idea you've had yet!" I would have never thought attempting to obtain publication would mean an assault on my qualifications to write and my dignity, but there you have it!  And then social media comes along which I find an utter waste of time aside from keeping this blog, my Web site, and LinkedIn.  To me, Facebook is a brag board I do not wish to have; Twitter is a form of useless communication with no significant meaning; and if I wanted to do Instagram I would just make myself a poster-size collage and be done with it already.  But to literary agents and evidently the entire publishing community here in the United States, if you're not utilizing social media then you are not developing your "brand" or building an audience.  "Oh really, well who died and appointed you as chief publishing god is what I want to know?!"  We've had successful writers since before social media and no, I don't think all writers/authors need to utilize social media to be "successful".  The publishing community appears to be completely lost when it comes to how to acquire, develop, and promote new authors and debut books.  And eventually that is what may take publishing as we currently know it to the grave.  Sad isn't it?  And it could have been avoided.

Good lord, I thought trying to calm a middle school female teenager pitching a fit inside the classroom while threatening to throw a desk at someone was difficult until I started querying literary agents.  God FORBID!!  A writer researches an agent's book interests, sends them a query letter, sample pages, and possibly a proposal and then guess what you receive in return?   Crickets, my friends.  The Sound Of Silence.  No response.  And if you do get lucky enough to receive an actual response as opposed to a form response, it usually is via email and says, "No thanks, I'll pass; This just doesn't fit my list at the moment;  I'm no longer accepting clients except by referral; I just could not relate to the story; or my personal favorite, This is just not what I'm looking for," and naturally, I've already checked the agent's manuscript wish list which specifically states he/she is looking for books that deal with disability, #ownvoices, and chronic illness. 

And heaven help a writer if you try to contact an editor directly.  It's like you have committed "The Ultimate Sin" and they shoot you an email saying, "I or We can only deal with authors through their literary agents."   My point is, what if the literary agent does not know a good piece of writing or idea when he/she sees it and what blasphemous deed will happen if an editor speaks directly with a writer/author??  Does the world come to an end??  Does the editor get fired??  Did anyone think it might be more fruitful to have writers/authors deal directly with editors and get rid of "the third wheel" aka literary agent??  What's so tremendously wrong with that notion? 

And yes, I've tried submitting to publishers who do not require an author to have a literary agent.  These folks generally never return an email to a writer, are ignoring their query queue entirely, are so overwhelmed with literary talent they are bursting at the seams and have no time to check queries and book proposals, or indicate that if you do not hear from us in six to ten months then we are passing on your material!  In six to ten months, that publisher might have gone bankrupt, been acquired, or no longer exist.  I mean, in six to ten months the world could have come to an end or I could be dead at the rate it's going!    It's a war zone out there for new writers of southern lineage.  And the reading public is missing out, publishing is missing a potential bestselling author, bookstores are continuing to go out of business, and the unknown writer of southern heritage is so overcome with disgust and angst that he/she just gives up the writer's life and habits entirely.  Now publishing community, I ask you:  Who Does That Benefit, My Pretties??

I've almost decided to no longer swing when I'm at the plate; to no longer potentially even pick up the bat, and eventually, I may get to the point when I no longer even show up at the ball park period.  And if the whole team goes to hell in a hand basket and ceases to exist, I'll say, "You Did It To Yourself."

Holding On By An Unraveling Thread,
Grace
(Amy)

Monday, April 8, 2019

North Carolina Teachers: Here Is The Book To Read And Give To The N.C. Legislature On May 1st, 2019



Dear North Carolina Teachers,

Greetings all!  Just wanted to once again bring to your attention that as a former North Carolina teacher and current writer, I wrote a book entitled Brave Soul Rising:  Tales From Trenches of An Uncharmed Life  under my pen name, Grace Sutherlin, which chronicles my journey as a first-year teacher in North Carolina at a public, inner-city middle school.  This book reflects on many issues you and your educational compatriots face each day as you walk the halls and stand in the classrooms of our elementary, middle, and high schools here in North Carolina.  From a lack of materials and resources and lack of timely discipline by administrators to "drop your teeth" school events and interactions, this is the book that all current and future North Carolina educators should read.  And it most certainly is the book that our North Carolina legislature members and school board members most likely have not read. If our North Carolina Congressional Members and our North Carolina School Board Members had read and understood the revelations in this book, they would have a detailed guide to what is wrong with North Carolina public schools and in particular, those same legislature members and school board members would have given you, without question in my opinion, the salaries, benefits, and resources you so richly deserve.

I would like you to know that I contacted each and every North Carolina School Board Member in 2016 to ensure the proper North Carolina lawmakers and officials knew about the issues addressed in my book, Brave Soul Rising:  Tales From The Trenches of An Uncharmed Life.   I heard back from only one North Carolina School Board Member and I seriously doubt he bought and read the book.  Upon my notification of our North Carolina School Superintendent about the book, I did receive a cordial email response.

Additionally, I would like it known that I emailed over 250 North Carolina teachers about the book.  I did not receive a response from any of those 250 teachers.  I estimate that I contacted about 100 North Carolina administrators about the book and did not receive a response from any of those individuals.  I emailed 60 collegiate educators in the state of North Carolina to encourage them to not only read the book, but also to utilize it as a resource in their educational classes.  I did not receive a response from any North Carolina collegiate educator that I contacted about the book.  So I ask you, who in the state of North Carolina really cares about the issues of North Carolina public school teachers?   EVERYONE RESIDING IN THE STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA SHOULD. 

North Carolina teachers, I expect to hear you ROAR on May 1st, 2019 when you march to our state capital to bring to the attention of our state leaders the VITAL and ESSENTIAL teacher and educational CONCERNS so immediately needing to be addressed in the state of North Carolina!!

GOD SPEED!

 All My Best,
Grace Sutherlin
(Amy)






Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Meniere's Disease And Me: A Chronic Disease And A Life-Changer

Dear Lit Loves,

Wow.  I am impressed to finally see that traditional and small publishers are opening their minds and including the thoughts and experiences of women who are writing in the narrative/memoir genres about chronic disease, illness, and in some cases, death.  Currently, I am reading The Unwinding of the Miracle written by Julie Yip-Williams regarding her experiences with stage four colon cancer.  I think it is high time that the world of publishing open its doors and windows to writers about these topics because let's face it, eventually, we're all going to face some sort of death and many of us will face a diagnosis at some point in our lives of a chronic, life-long illness.  And if you do not personally experience a diagnosis like this, I bet either a parent, sibling, friend, acquaintance, coworker, etc. will encounter a time when he/she is diagnosed with chronic disease.    I did.  And I was only age eighteen at the time.  Talk about feeling like your life is at the stage of :  GAME OVER.  Fortunately, for me, I never settled for the mindset of negativity once I received a diagnosis of chronic illness;  I decided the best direction and course for me was to learn how to ADAPT.

Yes, I was watching the North Carolina men's basketball team play Clemson on Saturday evening March 2nd, 2019 when the coach, Roy Williams, suddenly turned quickly and then immediately went down to one knee and then promptly took a swift dive into the lap of one of his assistant coaches.  I recognized what was happening to him.  It was VERTIGO.  I know because I have experienced these episodes on many occasions as I have lived with the chronic illness known as Meniere's disease for well over thirty years.

When vertigo overcomes your body it feels like everything in your visual spectrum is spinning as if you have suddenly jumped on the carnival ride known as the spinning teacups from hell.  In other words, for me, it is not that I am spinning, but everything in my visual field is spinning and continuing to spin at a higher and higher rate of speed.  So you know what happens?  You fall over, grab a wall, grab a chair, drop to the floor, or get to a seated position as soon as possible.  I was impressed Roy Williams was able to walk off the court with help from coaching staff as I would have been on my hands and knees crawling to the locker room, sprawled on the floor, and trying to find the nearest waste basket as vertigo usually involves regurgitation when it happens to me.

When I first began experiencing symptoms of vertigo and Meniere's disease, I had no clue what was happening to me.  Initially, I thought I was dying.  My left ear would have siren-like ringing, my hearing was off in the left ear for a few days prior, and then at some point I would find myself start sweating profusely and begin seeing the world in my field of vision begin spinning. I might be on the floor with a waste basket for ten or twelve hours just dry heaving or regurgitating what looked like anything I had eaten in the last week.  Eventually, the spinning would slow and finally stop.  I was so thankful when I finally received a diagnosis and medication for my vertigo episodes, I actually wanted to do cartwheels. 

Over the years, I have tried various medication regimens for the disease.  I knew that as I kept experiencing these volatile vertigo episodes I was losing the cilia in my inner ear that help me achieve balance.  Three years ago I was informed that 97% of the cells governing balance in my left ear are essentially dead.  Gone.  So when I stand anywhere I am essentially balancing myself via the near perfect hearing and balance that I have thanks to my right inner ear which has never developed Meniere's disease.  That was a shell-shocker when I was given that news. 

There are various surgeries a person can have to essentially bring a stop to any further vertigo episodes, but many of those surgeries and treatments often subvert an individual's balance ability along with the vertigo.  I chose to endure the vertigo and not have anyone deliberately incapacitate the cells that govern my balance.  And I have endured.  And now I have vertigo sparingly and when it does occur, I am maybe seeing my world spin for about thirty minutes and then the whole episode is over and I recover and continue on with my life.  My medical specialist believes that my Meniere's disease is in a dormant stage as I have had fewer and fewer episodes of vertigo as I have aged and lived with the disease.  I will tell you that the disease taught me to learn to adapt to the resolute possibility that my health can go plunging southward at a moment's notice.  The whole experience of this chronic illness has given me confounding and enlightening interactions with our medical system in this country.  And I know what to do if and when a vertigo episode strikes.  I'm always prepared as I always have my medication with me and some meds I take daily to prevent vertigo. 

The best part about Meniere's disease is that I learned how to advocate for myself as a female patient in what was an often patriarchal medical world.  That is swiftly changing now as more women are going into medicine than men.  I learned that I am the only one who can advocate for my health and the quality of healthcare I receive and from whom I receive it.   For me, respect is earned and not automatically given because hey, even in the world of medicine, not every medical specialist graduated at the top of their class and many medical specialists I have encountered have the interpersonal skills of a skunk.    Thus, I have also learned how to size up and evaluate each and every medical specialist I encounter even when it comes to one that is treating my parent or a close friend.

I would like to one day be able to share my experiences regarding Meniere's disease and two other chronic diseases I have with the reading public.  I hope traditional and small publishers continue to give individuals like myself an opportunity to do this as you would be amazed what you can learn from a person who has been there and experienced that when it comes to any disease or illness.  I am a person and patient who would rather know what I am dealing with as opposed to live in denial or submit to the concept that ignorance is bliss.  Knowledge is power, people.  Especially when it comes to your health.

Till my next post,
Grace
(Amy)

Monday, February 18, 2019

Lessons From Reading A Badly Written Memoir

Dear Lit Loves,

I tend to post reviews of books in the memoir genre that are outstanding or particularly well-written.  So it was with great surprise that I recently read a memoir written by a self-proclaimed celebrity that just went off the train tracks and never recovered.  The book dealt with the serious issue of chronic illness.  Since I had recently been diagnosed with a form of the autoimmune illness about which the book's author wrote, I thought surely the book I bought would help guide me on my journey with several chronic illnesses and especially the disease I share with the author.   I thought surely I would be able to identify and sympathize with the author, but no such luck.  Actually, I wanted to go get my money back after ordering the book via Amazon and thankfully, I did not pay the full price for this book at another book retailer.   After finishing the book, I was incredulous that it had been published after I have spent years writing manuscripts on some serious subjects that were never picked up by a literary agent or acquiring editor.  In this particular instance when I completed reading the book, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that publishing is most definitely not a fair game.  Frankly, I think publishing is more about who you know, what level of celebrity status you have, and how much of a social media platform you have obtained. 

Sometimes, in my own publishing journey, I have been enormously frustrated with literary agents, editors, etc.  who continually shout from the rooftops that they want diversity in publishing and more female points of view; however, if you query them as I have, you often receive no response or if you send them a small portion of the manuscript and a forty page book proposal they'll tell you to wait six to eight weeks and at the end of that time period you receive a one sentence email saying they have no idea where to place the book or that they could not connect to the material.  Upon reading this latest memoir, I wanted to hold up my latest regretfully read book purchase and say, "This is why the publishing industry continues to shrink and sales are sluggish.  If this is the best publishing can do by way of memoir, the industry may hit the skids in a New York minute."  And after I continually looked  pitifully at the book and carefully considered its contents, it finally dawned on me that by God, there really is something to learn from a quite badly written memoir. 

Lessons Learned After Reading A Badly Written Memoir:

1)  Solidly written memoir for me must contain authenticity of experience.  It's not about spouting off opinions in each and every chapter or demeaning a group of people or jumping from one topic to another with no interconnection.  

2)  Memoir should have a theme sewn through its pages. 

3)  Edit. Edit. Edit.   And edit once again after you receive an advanced copy of your memoir.  There is no going back once the official published button is pressed. 

4)  Not all literary agents, editors, or publishing houses are equal. 

5)  Check your arrogance as a writer/author at the door when it comes to memoir.  Memoir is about vulnerability and reality.  It is not the arena to act as a preacher or know-it-all.

6)  In my opinion, unless you are a well-known celebrity or a household name, I would not use a picture of myself on the cover of my manuscript or book.  Preferably utilize a symbol associated with the book's theme.

7)  Never include juvenile, inappropriate illustrations or pictures in a memoir as it just makes a writer look juvenile and unprofessional. 

8)  If you can't write about a serious topic in a respectful, informative, and meaningful manner then put down the pen or pencil and step away from the computer.

9)  Memoir is generally not the place to practice a comedy routine.

10)  For heaven's sake, at least be well-read in the genre you choose to utilize as a writer/author.

Till my next post,
Grace
(Amy)

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Book Review: Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

,Dear Lit Loves,

Greetings!  Wow!  Somebody Ring The Liberty Bell and fellow readers if you were here we should all bust a move doing an imitation of dance to the song, "Thriller" because  I just read Educated:  A Memoir by Tara Westover and I am here to say this book is as good if not better than the much-acclaimed memoir titled The Glass Castle!  That's right.  You heard it here first.  Educated:  A Memoir by Tara Westover was published by Random House and the literary agents representing Tara Westover are Anna Stein and Karolina Sutton.  This is a MUST READ book and it also won Goodreads Memoir of the Year!

Tara Westover was raised on a mountain in Idaho by survivalist parents.   Her father owned a junkyard where he felt his children should work as opposed to attend school as he does not trust "book knowledge" or "any form of government".  Tara's mom at one point is a self-taught midwife, but eventually she becomes a medicinal zealot who does not trust doctors or the medical establishment; instead, she uses her herbs and oils to concoct tinctures to heal all sorts of ailments.  Tara and her siblings know there is something not quite right with their father, but do not know exactly what to label it.  He regularly holds home meetings where he preaches his interpretation of his bible.  He quite often places his own children in precarious and downright dangerous circumstances as they work for him either constructing barns or breaking down metal scraps from his large junkyard heap.  This leads to several of his children getting burned, scarred, and worse.  Tara's paternal grandparents live down the hill from the family home.  They have a second residence in Arizona where they relocate each winter.  When Tara's family goes to visit them in Arizona on one occasion, her father insists on driving home to Idaho in a severe winter storm.  Sometimes he forces his underage children to drive in precarious weather.  At one point, the family van is upside down in a ditch with power lines draped across the van.  Tara's mom was never quite the same after this accident as she did not receive proper medical help and suffered major injuries. 

Eventually, Tara begins to acquire money from not just her junkyard work, but bagging groceries at the grocery store as well as babysitting.  She buys textbooks like her brother to essentially teach herself enough in order to achieve a passing score on the ACT and then leaves for BYU.  While at BYU, she realizes how different she is from her fellow roommates and classmates.  She recognizes that some of what her father and mother told her about American history is not as they portrayed it.  And some movements in history such as the civil rights movement, women's suffrage, etc., she does not know anything about as she has never heard of them.  Eventually, a professor encourages her to visit Cambridge and she does.  She applies for admission upon her graduation from BYU and though she is initially not accepted; her professor pleads her case for her and she does get the opportunity to study at Cambridge.  She earns her Master's in Philosopy from Cambridge and spends a year writing the first chapter of her dissertation at Harvard.  In the midst of this, she returns home to a brother who threatens her, a mother who does not protect her, and a sister who was also abused by the same brother, but the father threatens to disown the sister if she keeps bringing up the violence enacted by the brother.  Eventually,Tara's sister agrees that her father is right.  She and Tara must have gotten mixed up about what happened.  Tara's sister does not want to be disowned by her family so she agrees with them that Tara is evil and just trying to stir up trouble for the family.    When Tara's parents come to Harvard to "save" her from the evil of socialist intellectualism, Tara must decide for herself if she wants to commit to her way of life and beliefs and renounce her parents' beliefs and values while subsequently facing the prospect of being disowned by her family.  It is enough to send her into a nervous breakdown which she must overcome if she is to finish her research and dissertation to obtain her Doctorate's degree from Cambridge. 

This book touched on so many themes for me such as parental abuse and neglect.  Obviously, the father was a control-freak and fanatic anti-government rebel who did not send his kids to school nor did he seek professional medical care for his own children when they suffered numerous serious injuries.  The mother believes the same as the father and will not stand up to him.  She believes she has the healing tinctures and salves and herbs to cure whatever ailment may befall the children.  As a reader, I kept thinking to myself, does anyone in the extended family or anyone in the community not realize that there is something inherently wrong within this family?  Why does no one report what is observed regarding this family?  Does anyone of the outside looking in not have an inkling that something is very wrong with this set of parents and the kind of life they are forcing upon their children?  Does anyone suspect one or both of the parents may have mental illness??

There is also the reality of sibling love and admiration, but also sibling volatility that the parents refuse to acknowledge.  One incident occurs in a grocery store parking lot and violence is quite evident, but no one calls the police or reports what they have witnessed.  No one bothers to help Tara as she is being hurt and tortured.  It is troubling to me to think of a scenario like the ones described in this book.  And eventually the siblings who did obtain a collegiate education keep in touch with Tara, but the ones that did stay loyal to the family regard Tara as evil and refuse to acknowledge or keep in touch with her.

Next, there is the question of a young girl and female adult having to choose between getting an education which her father and mother abhor or remaining loyal to the family by denying herself a broader view of the world via a higher level of education.  What kind of courage must it have taken for this young woman to stand up to a condescending, fanatical father and a mother who complies with the father's beliefs and actions? 

And what about the professors and educators at college who upon learning of Tara's history and background choose to extend a hand to help lift her above her circumstances to give her an opportunity for a better life than what she has experienced as a child?  I applaud them for the instinct and endeavors to assist her as opposed to just think of her as another student among many. 


 And I applaud Tara for her ultimate decision to transform herself and her life along with her beliefs and values knowing what it would ultimately cost her.  She chose to transform herself and her life even though it cost her connections with her father, mother, and four siblings who choose to adhere to the parents' way of life, customs, beliefs, and values.  It made me wonder how many of us could survive and do what Tara did?  How many of us have that kind of perseverance and tenacity?  And would it not be admirable if more people had the kind of courage Tara exhibits?  Would our world not be a better place??


Once again this book is a must-read.  I highly recommend it for book clubs and I know it would be required reading if I were still teaching today just because it takes a look at real life in all its rawness and ugliness but equally its possibilities and complexities. 

Till my next review or update,

Grace
(Amy)