Why Barnes and Noble Needs An Overhaul/Makeover

Dear Literary Loves,
Well loves, if you are not in the publishing trenches on a day to day basis like I am, you may not have heard that storm clouds are on the horizon for retailer Barnes & Noble.  The CEO has resigned and numerous vice presidents, editors, etc. are leaving it appears.  Does this shock me?  No.  I was shocked when Borders died a slow death and all the stores in my area disappeared.  That was a great bookstore and they always had someone to help you no matter the time of day.  I was shocked when all the Blockbuster stores also died a slow death and all the stores in my area disappeared five years ago.  Barnes & Noble needs to upgrade, reboot, and bring in new blood.  Here's why I have been dissatisfied with my nearest and dearest local bookstore in recent days:

1)  This is a bookstore not a university library folks.  Honestly, the last time I attempted to go buy books at my local Barnes & Noble, I couldn't believe the number of students (elementary to college age) that were congregating there.  And they are not quiet about it either.  I wanted to peruse several books before I purchased them, but, alas, I could not find an available chair in which to seat myself.  Why?  Because we have teenagers and college students setting up camp there on a daily basis in order to study or have a group study.  No one that I saw was buying books.  They were just there with their backpacks, smart phones, ipods, etc. just doing their thing.  I'm thinking to myself, what the hell happened to the school library or the university library folks?!  As far as I know, they still exist and that's where I did my studying.  You can't walk around with coffee, but hey, you can't have everything!  Where are paying customers supposed to go?  To the kiddie department? I don't think so.

2)  Barnes and Noble should have each store designed such that you absolutely cannot utilize a cell phone while in the store.  I'm serious!  It's absolutely mind-boggling how many people just casually answer their phone in a book store and carry on with their nearest and dearest while the rest of us are trying to shop.  Please!  Let it go to voice mail!  Talk about not being able to concentrate; one guy in the store was conducting a job interview on his smart phone while seated in the magazine section of a Barnes and Noble store.  Really?!  Have we lost our minds?! 

3)  Okay, I am not jumping up and down about the e-book revolution either and it is eating in to profits at Barnes and Noble, of this I am sure.  I was trained as an English teacher so I'm old school in the fact that I like and prefer the feel of a book in my hand.  I like turning the actual pages, reading the synopsis on the back of a book, feeling better about the economy when I see how much the Canadians are having to pay for the same book, and yes, I like the paper smell of a freshly printed book.  I have to say that I don't own a tablet or Nook.  Honestly, reading on one of those gives me a major tension headache.  And take note Barnes and Noble marketing departments, I don't want to be accosted by a sales person trying to sell me a Nook each time I walk in the store for crying out loud!

4)  I'm not sure that Barnes and Noble really needs a massive section of the store devoted to compact discs either.  I'm probably the only one left of my generation that still utilizes those and likes them.  I think the wave of the future is going to be downloading music onto devices folks so that portion of each store needs to be minimized.  And guess what that means?!  More space!  So here's what you do with the additional space:  Build a speaking platform with a stage and theater seating.  Bear with me now, I can tell you are rolling your eyes at this point.  Have authors attend meet and greets at your local Barnes & Noble.  Allow authors to discuss their books, talk about the craft of writing, and even conduct a few seminars on what it's like to be an author and how to go about it!  Lord knows I could have used one of those seminars before I started attempting to get published, but it never totally bothers me if I have to learn the hard way too.  Just as long as I get there eventually.

5)  I understand the need for journals and diary books.  Trust me, you could never have made it through one of my literature courses without having about ten of those wonderful objects, but hey, what about address books?  I swear I spent a half hour trying to locate an address book at Barnes and Noble only to find one that was the size of a pack of cigarettes with barely any room for writing a name much less address, phone, email, fax, Web site, etc. etc.  Come on now!  Spruce this section of the store up a bit more!  And hey, if you want people to like writing, why not have available the feathered pens of yesterday?!  Seriously, if you want people to adore the craft, give them intriguing gizmos!  Harry Potter had a wand; I vote for long, feather pens!  And where in heaven's name are the stickers?!  I realize I am no longer five years of age, but hey!  Some of us like to properly mail a letter the old fashioned way and have it look presentable when it arrives! 

 7)  Finally, could we at least have enough staff in each Barnes and Noble store to accomodate those of us that are not there to socialize, but to actually find a book or research a medical problem?  I realize overhead is expensive, but it is worth it so people do not walk around appearing like space cadets.  Mind you, I have helped a few lost souls roaming Barnes and Noble stores.  And is it too much to ask for Barnes and Noble employees to know how to renew my Barnes and Noble membership card?  Honestly, last month I went to my local store, walked up to the counter, presented my membership card along with the renewal fee, and the clerk said she had no idea how to complete that transaction!  Excuse me?  She then proceeded to tell me that she only knew how to open new membership accounts and had not been trained how to renew a customer's membership card.  I was flabbergasted, shocked, ticked off, and finally, I just gave up and called the corporate headquarters.  The gentleman I spoke with there was absolutely speechless.  He apologized profusely and said he had never heard of such.  Fortunately, after my verbal ranting and raving, my membership card was renewed and I received fifty dollars in store coupons in the mail the very next week.  That's customer service folks, so take NOTES!

Until next time book lovers and PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED JURY DUTY THE WEEK OF JULY 22ND AND I WILL BE OFFLINE WHILE DOING MY CIVIC DUTY NEXT WEEK!  Not to fear though, I'll be back in a jiffy!