Dear Lit Loves,
Oh Lord, what a week. Let me just say that I received a book proposal rejection from an international literary agent explaining that she could not connect with the "voice" of my book, my writing needed more "creativity", and something about changing the chronology of events in my memoir. My first reaction was literally, Seriously?!! I swear if one more person tells me to "elevate" my prose, I may stop buying books completely. And folks are wondering why more and more writers are opting to go the self-publishing route. Henceforth, let me advise agents, editors, publishers, and anyone else in the book industry who would care to get in the ring with me on this: Here Is Exactly What We Need In Publishing Right Now: Real people writing about Real life in a stone-cold, blatantly Real Manner. I'm serious, look at Lena Dunham and the television show "Girls" or Piper Kerman's memoir Orange Is The New Black as well as the television series of the same title. The writing is NOT fancy-dancy, metaphorical, lyrical, or some form of nose in the air writing. It's not about swirly, sugary, challenging writing folks. If you want that then by all means go find yourself someone with an MFA from Iowa, Harvard, Stanford, etc. And here's why this is true: Because according to The National Adult Literacy Survey in both 1992 and 2003, the average American reads at a ninth grade high school reading level. Right there, is where you hear the "cha-ching" people. There's your money-shot and grand slam. Do you hear it? I do.
Now, let me explain my style of writing:
1) Shoot-from-the hip and No-holds-barred: I don't mince words, spend long passages describing a mountain or grief metaphorically, and I get to the point. I tell the story and I am passionate about the stories I have to tell, but I don't express my passion with "dry" writing that's going to sound like something from a master's level course in the merits of Lord Byron's writings. Tell it like it is, get to the point, and get on with the story.
2) Do Not Over-Describe Or Babble On Excessively: Honestly, I came across a writer recently who did nothing in her memoir but seemingly put down men and marriage while also describing in excrutiating, boring detail what it is like to experience menopause. By the end of the book I just wanted to shake the female writer and say: You could have Googled this and discovered all this information on menopause. And maybe if you don't like men and marriage, I suggest you try being single or seriously think about acquiring a butler because no man worth his salt is going to baby you like you feel you deserve. Here's a clue: Pamper yourself woman!
3) Chronologically tell the story to the best of your memory. That's it. People will get either get it or not. As long as you stay true to the story you remember when writing a memoir, it's okay. If a literary agent advises you to change the chronology of your memoir to make it "flow" better then skip the literary agent, find a new one, or just self-publish. I'm not going to lie about the timeline of how I remember something happening. Nope. End of story.
4) There is no such thing as a memoir being too long or too short: This is especially true if you are just getting the story down on paper for the first time. There are some memoirs that are entirely too long mainly because the author is utilizing grandiose descriptions or babbling/whining about someone or something. Here's what my English teacher advised me about my writing: Make your story like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the important, parts, but short enough to keep it interesting. Comprende?!! Si! Oui!! Aka...Preach it, Sister!!
5) Getting more "Creative" with your writing does not have to mean including recipes, directions, lists, or an entire travel guide in your memoir. I'm serious. I write with a southern flair and often utilize southern sayings which most agents, editors, publishers, etc. should probably try Googling or just ask me what it means. Usually, I will explain the meaning to the reader or give examples, but for some gatekeepers at the publishing entrance, this is a detriment to my writing. Not buying it folks.
And finally I just want to say I HAVE NO PROBLEM PROMOTING MY BOOK. In fact, I would rather plan my own book and publicity tour. I would rather select where I promote my book. In essence, it would be quite nice if a publisher helped in a small way, but I don't need or expect you to because I'm the one who is passionate about the book and I know who my readership is. So to be entirely truthful, I think it's entirely acceptable to expect an author to get out and plug their own writing. If you believe in your writing, are passionate about your writing, and want your book promoted in the right way, hell, just do it yourself. No one's going to do it better than you because it's your baby, understand? And that comes directly from my Dadio, sweethearts. God Rest His Soul.
Till my next soap box speech or review, happy reading!
Peace,
Grace
(Amy)
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