Dear Lit Loves,
Oh wow. What a three weeks it has been since I last wrote! Currently, several literary agents have my book proposal and manuscript for the memoir I wrote about life adventures with a balance or vestibular disorder. I started my next manuscript about climbing the staircases of heaven with a close friend during her bout with a terminal illness. And special thanks to all the individuals who signed up to follow my blog! I had a friend ask me recently why in the world it matters how many blog followers you have when it comes to writing and publishing a good book. It's insane, I know. No one had to go to these extraordinary lengths fifteen years ago, but social media is such a big deal to the publishing community. Fortunately, my publishing friend who is an executive vice president at a major publishing house keeps sending me emails to swing for the fences or I might have developed several stomach ulcers by now!
In the meantime I decided to read Poser: My Life in 23 Yoga Poses by Claire Dederer. I'm not a yoga person. I'm a get on the treadmill and interval train person. Or better, get on a bike and go enjoy the outside world. I always thought yoga was just a warm up exercise for the nitty gritty stuff of real exercising. In Ms. Dederer's case I think she utilized yoga intentionally or unintentionally as a means of facing issues she had long been avoiding and also t how to learn how to remain in the present moment without running from it in a panic. The author grew up in a rather radical home. Her parents separated when she was very young, but they never got around to divorcing. It was the 70s and her mom just took off with the kids and basically decided to take up the cause of feminist liberation by leaving her husband and building a life with a much younger boyfriend. And the weird thing about the whole situation is that no one ever really addressed the fact that her mom and dad stayed married, had get togethers, and generally kept up a relatively decent family life despite not getting divorced. Even when the author is in her thirties and has her first child, her parents still have not officially divorced and her mom is still with the hippie boyfriend. Wow. Talk about living in denial.
The interesting issue for Ms. Dederer is that she has grown up learning how to pretend everything is perfect when in fact the crap is hitting the fan. She lives in Seattle with quite a few liberal parents that believe in organic diapers, organic produce, and some kind of interesting school that's called a co-op which to me sounded like a Montessori school. She becomes overly concerned with raising her child perfectly according to the standards of others. Therein lies the problem. Additionally, her husband is a freelance writer who has a tendency toward depression when it comes to financially taking care of his family because he is in a profession that doesn't pay well and is also real short on job security. The author is also a freelance writer. The more devastating problem comes when neither the author nor the husband directly addresses their issue; they just go on pretending everything is okay. Ms. Dederer takes up yoga because she believes it is a way of becoming a good or more perfect mother, but what is really happening is that she's looking for a way of escaping her reality. Here's the funny thing: Yoga forces you to live in the moment and "feel"reality. And that's exactly what happens. Not surprisingly, the author takes up more and more challenging forms of yoga.
Eventually, life in Seattle gets entirely too overwhelming. The couple moves with their two kids to Colorado. They rent a house, the husband takes up a fellowship post at the local university and Ms. Dederer begins to enjoy life. She starts hiking and spending time at a Buddhist university. She
even takes up hiking and doing yoga with one of the leading gurus. Her relationship with her husband becomes more fulfilling. Her kids go to public school. She becomes a book reviewer and the family decides to stay on another year in Colorado. Eventually, what Ms. Dederer learns is how to be mindful of her present circumstances in all their imperfectness and not try make everything appear perfect. There is no perfect. We're all just stumbling along trying to find our way. Yoga is what forces Ms. Dederer to let go of the living perfectly concept and go with the flow. It's not about the perfect pose for the longest amount of time. It's about knowing yourself, realizing your imperfections, and not running from your circumstances like your hair's on fire. And what does she eventually do? She realizes she just needs some space between she and her parents. She can find contentment and fulfillment even during the most absurd moments in life. Interestingly, it's almost like she has to run away from her former life in order to get to this life truth. Life is messy people. You've got to remain focused on your happiness and well-being regardless of what insane decisions other people and the rest of the world are making. And for heaven's sake, at the end of the book I just wanted to shake the author and say, "Keep the yoga girlfriend! Forget Perfect! Embrace the messiness of life! That's the only way to keep your head above water, you know?!"
Okay lit loves, I am off to read Now I See You by Nicole Kear. I'm also about to read Jujitsu Rabbi and the Godless Blonde by Rebecca Dana which just the title intrigues me. Till next time!
Grace
No comments:
Post a Comment