Review: The Mango Tree: A Memoir of Fruit, Florida, and Felony by Annabelle Tometich

Dear Lit Loves,

This month I read the memoir, The Mango Tree:  A Memoir of Fruit, Florida, and Felony by Annabelle Tometich.  The interesting part of the opening of the book is that the reader thinks this is going to be a book about a daughter and her siblings who have to bail their mother out of jail because she shot at the car of a man who dared try and steal mangoes from the trees in her yard!  No.  This is a book about a quite complicated family.

This narrative revolves around the author learning to find herself through a childhood that was quite heartbreaking and precarious.  At one point, her father's mom lived with the family and the grandmother absolutely detested the girl's mother simply because she was someone from a foreign country.  Never mind that Annabelle Tometich's mother allowed her mother-in-law to move in with their family in order to help in her caretaking.  This is a mother with a generous and devoted heart who believes when it comes to family, helping is essential even if a relative is demeaning to you.

Next, we witness a young Annabelle coping with the fallout of her mother and father's explosive fights.  Her dad often leaves home and much of the parenting and household duties fall to Annabelle's mother, Josefina.  And then Annabelle learns that her father has died by suicide though she will tell others that her father died in a car accident just to avoid all the stigma that comes along with sharing that a family member has died via suicide.

The author has a contentious relationship with her mom who likes to save everything including broken crayons as she can place them in a balikbayan box to take with her on the next trip made to her home country because the relatives there have so little compared to the abundance the family enjoys in Fort Myers, Florida.  Also, the author's mom has a distinct problem hoarding just about everything especially VHS tapes and DVDs of various American television shows and movies.  Though Annabelle struggles to keep the house clean, her mom appears to prefer it in a catastrophic state. The truce:  live and let live.

Annabelle sees her mother in a whole different light when they take a trip to Manila.  While in Manila, Annabelle gets to see how her mother's extended family lives quite poorly.  The family in Manila is thankful just to have a roof over the heads and food on the table.  Annabelle sees what it is like living in a desolate, poor area of the world where her mom essentially raised her siblings.  Her mother brings all the balikbayan boxes with her for her relatives and is generous with her time, money, and profound love. 

At one point, life becomes wo overwhelming for Annabelle's mom that she insists they are going to leave Fort Myers, Florida and move to Manila.  In order to prevent this, Annabelle must start helping her mom with getting her brother and sister to school, cooking, cleaning, and mowing the yard.  

Finally, the reader sees Annabelle go off to college in Florida and befriend people while attending a university.  She loves college life so much that she actually stays year-round at the university.  This part of the book speaks to the point of how we are unable to choose are biological family, but once we are adults, we can choose who we would like to have in our lives that we treat as family.  

Young Annabelle works in the food industry, as a journalist, and by the end of the book, we find Annabelle with her own family at a neighborhood party.  When she overhears someone telling the story of how a local woman shot what I believe was a BB gun at a man who was on her property stealing mangoes, Annabelle claims and defends her mom for the strong, independent woman she is and for how much of those same qualities her mother, Josefina, has helped her to also acquire.

What a heartbreaking and dynamic memoir.  I found myself at times having to put this book down due to some of the big issues tackled in the book.  In the end, I found myself relating to the author in that we all come from dysfunctional families and we are defined by them in ways both positive and negative.

A solid, eloquent, and emotionally moving memoir.

Till my next review,

Grace (Amy)

Review: The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese

 Dear Lit Loves,

Hi.  So this month someone in my book club decided we should read The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese.  And then one of the members brought a copy of the book and set it down on our round table.  Personally, I took one look at the seven hundred page tome and just completely lost my desire to even read the book.  Seriously, a thick, long book can be as intimidating as a white, blank page.  For a week I let my copy of the book just sit on my sofa table.  I gave it dirty looks and a side grin which means I am really not happy about someone or something.  I considered just reading someone's Cliff Notes on the book and not even attempting to read the book itself.   Then my conscience got the best of me.  Read the dang book, already!  At least I might be able to declare who my favorite character is to my book club and explain why.

It took me three weeks to read The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese.  The entire story revolved around a young girl in India who is twelve being sent to marry someone she has never even met.  Oh, and the girl's future husband is forty years old!  Just that concept alone brought fire to my veins.  The book takes place in Kerala.  And I must say that the only information I had on the author was that he in some way is involved in medicine which explained why in this one Indian family, there is a condition causing someone to die in each generation. And each death was explained in detail.  And the death is usually associated with water and drowning.  The parts of the book about medicine and acoustic neuromas were detailed expertly.  

Suffice it to say, I did read the book.  I also felt like throwing the book across the room at various points while reading it.  There were just so many characters weaving in and out of the story throughout the entirety of the book.  The author definitely underscored India's caste system.  I did not like the caste system prior to reading this book and I thoroughly detest it after reading the book.  Also, the author began using words from the Indian language throughout the plot and it just made me frustrated as a reader.  You ask me to read a seven hundred page book and then begin using words from a language I do not know and it requires me to Google each word?!  I thought that was asking a lot of the reader.

What was the book about?  Family.  Our biological family and then those who we chose to treat as ourbi family.  It involved what we inherit from our biological family members and oftentimes what we choose to give or how we treat those in one's biological family as well as one's "chosen" family.  Also, the book revolved around what parents will sacrifice for their children.  For example, if you knew you had a disease that could be contracted by your child, would you stay and expose them to the harmful, disfiguring effects of the disease and let the child experience how a society can ostracize people because of their illness/conditions?  Or, would you feel that for the child's sake, you might decide to choose to leave and let them be raised by someone else such that the child will never inherit a disease that will disfigure them and cause them to be shunned from society?  Perplexing and heavy questions for sure.

Overall, this book made me really thankful I do not live in a country revolving around a caste system. The book made me reflect on my own decision not to have children due to the inheritable diseases I have that could be passed on to a child.  Finally, the book enabled me to reflect upon all the sacrifices that were made by my own parents for me and my sibling.  And the book truly made me think about why even in the United States, people have family that deliberately choose to not show up for other family members during times of serious distress and duress.  I have witnessed this first hand and have been on the receiving end of being shunned, ignored by family for various reasons.  And the very people who shun their family call themselves Christians?  How does that work?  It is a real dagger to the heart when anyone shuns you, but especially when your own flesh and blood shun you because they do not find you "acceptable" according to their standards.  

This book and the various characters and events were quite triggering for me as a reader.  I think maybe some books should come with a warning label if some of the events in the book are particularly distasteful or graphic.  I know I will be wary about whether I recommend this book or not as I am undecided on a rating for it.  The writing was beautiful, but the events were quite tragic.  Upon finishing the book, I simply felt a sense of relief and to this day I still cannot say I would wholeheartedly endorse this book to my family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.  And I will be quite interested in how members of the book club I belong to felt about the book and if they read it or listened to it in its entirety.

Till my next read,

Grace (Amy)

Review: The Wives: A Memoir by Simone Gorrindo

 Dear Lit Loves,

Happy Summer!  First, thanks to whoever the 37,616 people are who have viewed this blog for one reason or another!  I only have a couple of blog followers, but I reference this blog quite often on Goodreads in relation to the book reviews I write.  As opposed to retype this or other reviews on Goodreads, I simply refer people to this blog site noting the date and book review title.  So thanks to whoever is reading this blog because Blogger, Goodreads, and LinkedIn are about the only social media I commit to as I am a particularly private person.  

At the beginning of May 2024 either someone I know or a prompt from Goodreads led me to investigate this new memoir being released called The Wives:  A Memoir by Simone Gorrindo.  Since the synopsis led me to understand this would be a book about life in the military from a wife's perspective, I was ready for a gripping read from the start.  How many books do you see about what military life is like from a female or wife's perspective?  I have not seen many so as a strong feminist this book intrigued me. Like, why did someone not think of writing about this sooner?!!!

Basically you have a couple, Simone and Andrew, who both come from California.  Simone attended Columbia and Andrew studied the classics at a liberal arts college somewhere near Annapolis.  Simone lands a great job in New York as an editor/writer while Andrew tries out for the Olympics and is fascinated by martial arts.  It did not come as a surprise that Andrew might one day seek a career in the military seeing as how his mother found a drawing in his childhood room that read, "I Love WWII".  

This decision of Andrew joining the military is a struggle for Simone.  Even in couples therapy, Andrew states he just might choose the military over Simone!  (I think this was just Andrew expressing his passion at the time, but the statement would have made me think twice about the relationship).  Andrew and Simone do eventually get married and move to Columbus, Georgia where Andrew will be training for Special Operations, going for the title of Army Ranger, and deploying for missions from Fort Benning.  If you've never been to Columbus, Georgia, it is no buzzing metropolis like New York so I wondered how Simone would fit in with fellow wives of officers and trainees.   The first good sign is Andrew and Simone find a 1300 square foot home to rent and Andrew buys Simone a writing desk so she can continue pursuing her editing and writing career.  

And from this point the reader gets an insider's view of life as a military spouse.  You first learn that while deployed or training, the spouse is essentially running the household including finances, vehicles, kids, school, health care, recreation, and some spouses have their own part-time jobs.  Fortunately, Simone meets what I believe is her closest confidante during this experience in the form of Rachel, who lives across the street and whose husband is also leaving for training.  In fact, Rachel helps Simone furnish her home by just taking the time to go furniture and thrift shopping with Simone.  (Rachel is impressive when it comes to decorating and she is a sincere friend to Simone).  This becomes even more important as the friends Simone had while living in New York often fade away over the span of the book.

The reader  is invited into the first meeting of all the spouses which is held in a large facility.  This is where they learn that they will be responsible for running "life" on the home turf while their husbands are away from home.  They also learn to which Unit their husbands are assigned and also that there is an FRG (family readiness group) for each military unit. Each spouse will be assigned someone to call in the event of a military red alert.   This is also the group that will alert fellow spouses via a phone tree when someone is injured on a mission or a mission changes in any manner.  Spouses learn that they are not to disclose anything about their husband's duties or especially missions and to be aware when on the phone with their spouses that the deployed individual is unable to answer any direct questions regarding their whereabouts, who is with them, or any portion of the mission activities.  

Slowly, but surely the reader sees Simone venturing outside of her comfort zone.  She meets other wives and through Facebook and other social media is able to surmise quite a bit about their lives, values, and beliefs.  Simone quickly realizes that many of the wives are younger than she is and she realizes she has had the privilege of a college education.  Never does Simone come across to me as thinking she is better than others because of her education.  She is quite quick to pick up on some of the more adverse events transpiring in military families such as alcohol overconsumption, volatility, and the frequency of weapons available in homes.  She observes some of the more harsh realities that can occur in military spousal relationships and directly witnesses one couple explode at a social event, but Simone still comes across as open-minded and sincere in her efforts to get to know other spouses and blend into the military community.  

This book demonstrates beautifully what the scene is like when spouses are awaiting the return of their loved one who is deployed.  And there are differences in Andrew when he returns from training or mission deployment.  For example, the fascination with war movies, drinking more than usual, trouble sleeping, taking on a new habit, and more explicit verbiage than normal.  It takes time for a spouse's loved ones to decompress from missions as one can only imagine what it is like being thrown together with other men in small quarters for weeks or months on end.  To me as a reader, Andrew always seemed to eventually return to his polite disposition and deep care for Simone.  At one point in the book, it's moving in that Simone discovers Andrew crying alone after a particularly harsh mission environment or events.  

There is a tug of war between Simone and Andrew when it comes time for him to re-enlist or re-sign once his contract is ending.  And once Simone becomes pregnant she is even more aware of what life might be like if Andrew were seriously injured or mortally wounded in combat.  Actually, at times in the book it appeared as if Simone suffered from some small form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as she would often drive around her community so many times to make sure no notification officers were coming to her door or when she feels that she must listen to a song on the radio until its ending no matter if she has already reached her destination.  No doubt life for the wives holding down the home-front can be overwhelming, lonely, and worrisome.  In the end Simone learns what a first sergeant's wife advised her from the time she first arrived in Columbus, Georgia which is "You just do it."  You know life in the military comes with its fair share of hardships and rewards.  As a couple or family, you keep going during the tough times and lean on your military community during stressful times when you most likely will not have blood relations with you; you have the family that you choose for yourself during a military contract period.

I loved the ending when Simone and Andrew are expecting their first child, Fiona.  Andrew takes to being a father like a fish to water.  Simone takes her time getting used to being a mother.  The couple continue couples therapy throughout the book and it's interesting to see the therapist suggest to Andrew that not only will Simone want to know what is happening with him emotionally after a mission, it would be nice if Andrew nicely asked about how she made it through life while he was deployed.    Marriage:  A constant give and take. 

I think this book is part coming of age, part love story, part military initiation, and ultimately, what not only the deployed sacrifice for their country and family, but what the spouses sacrifice as well.   I think it speaks widely to the theme of:  bloom where you are planted and the idea that sometimes we find ourselves in environments and situations whereby its best if we choose who our "family" really is.  And learning to "choose" a family for yourself is not always the easiest thing to do.

This is a great read.  I have been reading the memoir genre for many moons and I can tell you that I have not come across one that addresses this subject matter from a female perspective and is especially well-written and meaningful.  It is a five star book from my perspective.  I think it is definitely worth a read by everyone, military and non-military.

Till my next review,

Grace (Amy)