Dear Lit Loves,
Greetings. I see that at least thirty of the 100 counties in North Carolina had schools that participated in the North Carolina March For Education on May 1st, 2019. That's still too few counties and too few schools folks if you want to see REAL change with this stubborn, ornery legislature we have sitting in the halls of Congress and on the board of education in Raleigh, N.C. Thank you, Governor Roy Cooper, for being present at the rally and speaking! Thank God we have you as governor of our state. Personally, I will try and motivate more people to vote for individuals in Congress and on the board of education to try to support you and your efforts to keep North Carolina progressive come each and every state election.
Meanwhile, as most of my friends and acquaintances know, I chose to walk away from teaching in North Carolina. This was mostly due to the fact that I have several, unusual chronic illnesses that I have been plagued with since the ripe age of sixteen. I'm losing my hearing thanks to Meniere's disease; I'm losing my sight thanks to Uveitis and Uveitic glaucoma (not to mention a swelling retina that just happened to occur recently), and I have learned that my potential true autoimmune disease underlying or giving rise to the previously mentioned chronic illnesses is sarcoidosis or at least my Duke retina specialist says I have the ocular form of it. Technically, a patient has to demonstrate sarcoidosis in at least two organs before he/she can be "officially" diagnosed with it. Sarcoidosis can show up in the liver, kidneys, lungs, heart, skin, and eyes. Evidently, my autoimmune system is attacking my organs and specifically in my case, my eyes and who knows what else in the future. In order to tamp down my immune system such that it will not wreak havoc with my body, I take oral chemotherapy once each week. And that medication my dear friends is wicked. After taking it each week, my energy goes out the window, just the smell of food makes me feel wretched, and my gastrointestinal tract gets placed on the roller coaster ride from hell. Finally, I had a medical specialist say to me, "You know, I think you are going to have to step away from teaching till some measure of stability can be achieved with all the chronic illnesses you have currently." I didn't think that would mean "forever".
So, after reading the memoir titled Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom several years ago, I had the ridiculous notion that I could write a book like that and it would still allow me to maintain a way to "teach", but using a different format. Someone should have knocked me out right then with a two by four, thrown me in Lake Jordan, and said, "Wake the hell up! That's the most idiotic idea you've had yet!" I would have never thought attempting to obtain publication would mean an assault on my qualifications to write and my dignity, but there you have it! And then social media comes along which I find an utter waste of time aside from keeping this blog, my Web site, and LinkedIn. To me, Facebook is a brag board I do not wish to have; Twitter is a form of useless communication with no significant meaning; and if I wanted to do Instagram I would just make myself a poster-size collage and be done with it already. But to literary agents and evidently the entire publishing community here in the United States, if you're not utilizing social media then you are not developing your "brand" or building an audience. "Oh really, well who died and appointed you as chief publishing god is what I want to know?!" We've had successful writers since before social media and no, I don't think all writers/authors need to utilize social media to be "successful". The publishing community appears to be completely lost when it comes to how to acquire, develop, and promote new authors and debut books. And eventually that is what may take publishing as we currently know it to the grave. Sad isn't it? And it could have been avoided.
Good lord, I thought trying to calm a middle school female teenager pitching a fit inside the classroom while threatening to throw a desk at someone was difficult until I started querying literary agents. God FORBID!! A writer researches an agent's book interests, sends them a query letter, sample pages, and possibly a proposal and then guess what you receive in return? Crickets, my friends. The Sound Of Silence. No response. And if you do get lucky enough to receive an actual response as opposed to a form response, it usually is via email and says, "No thanks, I'll pass; This just doesn't fit my list at the moment; I'm no longer accepting clients except by referral; I just could not relate to the story; or my personal favorite, This is just not what I'm looking for," and naturally, I've already checked the agent's manuscript wish list which specifically states he/she is looking for books that deal with disability, #ownvoices, and chronic illness.
And heaven help a writer if you try to contact an editor directly. It's like you have committed "The Ultimate Sin" and they shoot you an email saying, "I or We can only deal with authors through their literary agents." My point is, what if the literary agent does not know a good piece of writing or idea when he/she sees it and what blasphemous deed will happen if an editor speaks directly with a writer/author?? Does the world come to an end?? Does the editor get fired?? Did anyone think it might be more fruitful to have writers/authors deal directly with editors and get rid of "the third wheel" aka literary agent?? What's so tremendously wrong with that notion?
And yes, I've tried submitting to publishers who do not require an author to have a literary agent. These folks generally never return an email to a writer, are ignoring their query queue entirely, are so overwhelmed with literary talent they are bursting at the seams and have no time to check queries and book proposals, or indicate that if you do not hear from us in six to ten months then we are passing on your material! In six to ten months, that publisher might have gone bankrupt, been acquired, or no longer exist. I mean, in six to ten months the world could have come to an end or I could be dead at the rate it's going! It's a war zone out there for new writers of southern lineage. And the reading public is missing out, publishing is missing a potential bestselling author, bookstores are continuing to go out of business, and the unknown writer of southern heritage is so overcome with disgust and angst that he/she just gives up the writer's life and habits entirely. Now publishing community, I ask you: Who Does That Benefit, My Pretties??
I've almost decided to no longer swing when I'm at the plate; to no longer potentially even pick up the bat, and eventually, I may get to the point when I no longer even show up at the ball park period. And if the whole team goes to hell in a hand basket and ceases to exist, I'll say, "You Did It To Yourself."
Holding On By An Unraveling Thread,
Grace
(Amy)
Saturday, May 4, 2019
Monday, April 8, 2019
North Carolina Teachers: Here Is The Book To Read And Give To The N.C. Legislature On May 1st, 2019
Dear North Carolina Teachers,
Greetings all! Just wanted to once again bring to your attention that as a former North Carolina teacher and current writer, I wrote a book entitled Brave Soul Rising: Tales From Trenches of An Uncharmed Life under my pen name, Grace Sutherlin, which chronicles my journey as a first-year teacher in North Carolina at a public, inner-city middle school. This book reflects on many issues you and your educational compatriots face each day as you walk the halls and stand in the classrooms of our elementary, middle, and high schools here in North Carolina. From a lack of materials and resources and lack of timely discipline by administrators to "drop your teeth" school events and interactions, this is the book that all current and future North Carolina educators should read. And it most certainly is the book that our North Carolina legislature members and school board members most likely have not read. If our North Carolina Congressional Members and our North Carolina School Board Members had read and understood the revelations in this book, they would have a detailed guide to what is wrong with North Carolina public schools and in particular, those same legislature members and school board members would have given you, without question in my opinion, the salaries, benefits, and resources you so richly deserve.
I would like you to know that I contacted each and every North Carolina School Board Member in 2016 to ensure the proper North Carolina lawmakers and officials knew about the issues addressed in my book, Brave Soul Rising: Tales From The Trenches of An Uncharmed Life. I heard back from only one North Carolina School Board Member and I seriously doubt he bought and read the book. Upon my notification of our North Carolina School Superintendent about the book, I did receive a cordial email response.
Additionally, I would like it known that I emailed over 250 North Carolina teachers about the book. I did not receive a response from any of those 250 teachers. I estimate that I contacted about 100 North Carolina administrators about the book and did not receive a response from any of those individuals. I emailed 60 collegiate educators in the state of North Carolina to encourage them to not only read the book, but also to utilize it as a resource in their educational classes. I did not receive a response from any North Carolina collegiate educator that I contacted about the book. So I ask you, who in the state of North Carolina really cares about the issues of North Carolina public school teachers? EVERYONE RESIDING IN THE STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA SHOULD.
North Carolina teachers, I expect to hear you ROAR on May 1st, 2019 when you march to our state capital to bring to the attention of our state leaders the VITAL and ESSENTIAL teacher and educational CONCERNS so immediately needing to be addressed in the state of North Carolina!!
GOD SPEED!
All My Best,
Grace Sutherlin
(Amy)
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
Meniere's Disease And Me: A Chronic Disease And A Life-Changer
Dear Lit Loves,
Wow. I am impressed to finally see that traditional and small publishers are opening their minds and including the thoughts and experiences of women who are writing in the narrative/memoir genres about chronic disease, illness, and in some cases, death. Currently, I am reading The Unwinding of the Miracle written by Julie Yip-Williams regarding her experiences with stage four colon cancer. I think it is high time that the world of publishing open its doors and windows to writers about these topics because let's face it, eventually, we're all going to face some sort of death and many of us will face a diagnosis at some point in our lives of a chronic, life-long illness. And if you do not personally experience a diagnosis like this, I bet either a parent, sibling, friend, acquaintance, coworker, etc. will encounter a time when he/she is diagnosed with chronic disease. I did. And I was only age eighteen at the time. Talk about feeling like your life is at the stage of : GAME OVER. Fortunately, for me, I never settled for the mindset of negativity once I received a diagnosis of chronic illness; I decided the best direction and course for me was to learn how to ADAPT.
Yes, I was watching the North Carolina men's basketball team play Clemson on Saturday evening March 2nd, 2019 when the coach, Roy Williams, suddenly turned quickly and then immediately went down to one knee and then promptly took a swift dive into the lap of one of his assistant coaches. I recognized what was happening to him. It was VERTIGO. I know because I have experienced these episodes on many occasions as I have lived with the chronic illness known as Meniere's disease for well over thirty years.
When vertigo overcomes your body it feels like everything in your visual spectrum is spinning as if you have suddenly jumped on the carnival ride known as the spinning teacups from hell. In other words, for me, it is not that I am spinning, but everything in my visual field is spinning and continuing to spin at a higher and higher rate of speed. So you know what happens? You fall over, grab a wall, grab a chair, drop to the floor, or get to a seated position as soon as possible. I was impressed Roy Williams was able to walk off the court with help from coaching staff as I would have been on my hands and knees crawling to the locker room, sprawled on the floor, and trying to find the nearest waste basket as vertigo usually involves regurgitation when it happens to me.
When I first began experiencing symptoms of vertigo and Meniere's disease, I had no clue what was happening to me. Initially, I thought I was dying. My left ear would have siren-like ringing, my hearing was off in the left ear for a few days prior, and then at some point I would find myself start sweating profusely and begin seeing the world in my field of vision begin spinning. I might be on the floor with a waste basket for ten or twelve hours just dry heaving or regurgitating what looked like anything I had eaten in the last week. Eventually, the spinning would slow and finally stop. I was so thankful when I finally received a diagnosis and medication for my vertigo episodes, I actually wanted to do cartwheels.
Over the years, I have tried various medication regimens for the disease. I knew that as I kept experiencing these volatile vertigo episodes I was losing the cilia in my inner ear that help me achieve balance. Three years ago I was informed that 97% of the cells governing balance in my left ear are essentially dead. Gone. So when I stand anywhere I am essentially balancing myself via the near perfect hearing and balance that I have thanks to my right inner ear which has never developed Meniere's disease. That was a shell-shocker when I was given that news.
There are various surgeries a person can have to essentially bring a stop to any further vertigo episodes, but many of those surgeries and treatments often subvert an individual's balance ability along with the vertigo. I chose to endure the vertigo and not have anyone deliberately incapacitate the cells that govern my balance. And I have endured. And now I have vertigo sparingly and when it does occur, I am maybe seeing my world spin for about thirty minutes and then the whole episode is over and I recover and continue on with my life. My medical specialist believes that my Meniere's disease is in a dormant stage as I have had fewer and fewer episodes of vertigo as I have aged and lived with the disease. I will tell you that the disease taught me to learn to adapt to the resolute possibility that my health can go plunging southward at a moment's notice. The whole experience of this chronic illness has given me confounding and enlightening interactions with our medical system in this country. And I know what to do if and when a vertigo episode strikes. I'm always prepared as I always have my medication with me and some meds I take daily to prevent vertigo.
The best part about Meniere's disease is that I learned how to advocate for myself as a female patient in what was an often patriarchal medical world. That is swiftly changing now as more women are going into medicine than men. I learned that I am the only one who can advocate for my health and the quality of healthcare I receive and from whom I receive it. For me, respect is earned and not automatically given because hey, even in the world of medicine, not every medical specialist graduated at the top of their class and many medical specialists I have encountered have the interpersonal skills of a skunk. Thus, I have also learned how to size up and evaluate each and every medical specialist I encounter even when it comes to one that is treating my parent or a close friend.
I would like to one day be able to share my experiences regarding Meniere's disease and two other chronic diseases I have with the reading public. I hope traditional and small publishers continue to give individuals like myself an opportunity to do this as you would be amazed what you can learn from a person who has been there and experienced that when it comes to any disease or illness. I am a person and patient who would rather know what I am dealing with as opposed to live in denial or submit to the concept that ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is power, people. Especially when it comes to your health.
Till my next post,
Grace
(Amy)
Wow. I am impressed to finally see that traditional and small publishers are opening their minds and including the thoughts and experiences of women who are writing in the narrative/memoir genres about chronic disease, illness, and in some cases, death. Currently, I am reading The Unwinding of the Miracle written by Julie Yip-Williams regarding her experiences with stage four colon cancer. I think it is high time that the world of publishing open its doors and windows to writers about these topics because let's face it, eventually, we're all going to face some sort of death and many of us will face a diagnosis at some point in our lives of a chronic, life-long illness. And if you do not personally experience a diagnosis like this, I bet either a parent, sibling, friend, acquaintance, coworker, etc. will encounter a time when he/she is diagnosed with chronic disease. I did. And I was only age eighteen at the time. Talk about feeling like your life is at the stage of : GAME OVER. Fortunately, for me, I never settled for the mindset of negativity once I received a diagnosis of chronic illness; I decided the best direction and course for me was to learn how to ADAPT.
Yes, I was watching the North Carolina men's basketball team play Clemson on Saturday evening March 2nd, 2019 when the coach, Roy Williams, suddenly turned quickly and then immediately went down to one knee and then promptly took a swift dive into the lap of one of his assistant coaches. I recognized what was happening to him. It was VERTIGO. I know because I have experienced these episodes on many occasions as I have lived with the chronic illness known as Meniere's disease for well over thirty years.
When vertigo overcomes your body it feels like everything in your visual spectrum is spinning as if you have suddenly jumped on the carnival ride known as the spinning teacups from hell. In other words, for me, it is not that I am spinning, but everything in my visual field is spinning and continuing to spin at a higher and higher rate of speed. So you know what happens? You fall over, grab a wall, grab a chair, drop to the floor, or get to a seated position as soon as possible. I was impressed Roy Williams was able to walk off the court with help from coaching staff as I would have been on my hands and knees crawling to the locker room, sprawled on the floor, and trying to find the nearest waste basket as vertigo usually involves regurgitation when it happens to me.
When I first began experiencing symptoms of vertigo and Meniere's disease, I had no clue what was happening to me. Initially, I thought I was dying. My left ear would have siren-like ringing, my hearing was off in the left ear for a few days prior, and then at some point I would find myself start sweating profusely and begin seeing the world in my field of vision begin spinning. I might be on the floor with a waste basket for ten or twelve hours just dry heaving or regurgitating what looked like anything I had eaten in the last week. Eventually, the spinning would slow and finally stop. I was so thankful when I finally received a diagnosis and medication for my vertigo episodes, I actually wanted to do cartwheels.
Over the years, I have tried various medication regimens for the disease. I knew that as I kept experiencing these volatile vertigo episodes I was losing the cilia in my inner ear that help me achieve balance. Three years ago I was informed that 97% of the cells governing balance in my left ear are essentially dead. Gone. So when I stand anywhere I am essentially balancing myself via the near perfect hearing and balance that I have thanks to my right inner ear which has never developed Meniere's disease. That was a shell-shocker when I was given that news.
There are various surgeries a person can have to essentially bring a stop to any further vertigo episodes, but many of those surgeries and treatments often subvert an individual's balance ability along with the vertigo. I chose to endure the vertigo and not have anyone deliberately incapacitate the cells that govern my balance. And I have endured. And now I have vertigo sparingly and when it does occur, I am maybe seeing my world spin for about thirty minutes and then the whole episode is over and I recover and continue on with my life. My medical specialist believes that my Meniere's disease is in a dormant stage as I have had fewer and fewer episodes of vertigo as I have aged and lived with the disease. I will tell you that the disease taught me to learn to adapt to the resolute possibility that my health can go plunging southward at a moment's notice. The whole experience of this chronic illness has given me confounding and enlightening interactions with our medical system in this country. And I know what to do if and when a vertigo episode strikes. I'm always prepared as I always have my medication with me and some meds I take daily to prevent vertigo.
The best part about Meniere's disease is that I learned how to advocate for myself as a female patient in what was an often patriarchal medical world. That is swiftly changing now as more women are going into medicine than men. I learned that I am the only one who can advocate for my health and the quality of healthcare I receive and from whom I receive it. For me, respect is earned and not automatically given because hey, even in the world of medicine, not every medical specialist graduated at the top of their class and many medical specialists I have encountered have the interpersonal skills of a skunk. Thus, I have also learned how to size up and evaluate each and every medical specialist I encounter even when it comes to one that is treating my parent or a close friend.
I would like to one day be able to share my experiences regarding Meniere's disease and two other chronic diseases I have with the reading public. I hope traditional and small publishers continue to give individuals like myself an opportunity to do this as you would be amazed what you can learn from a person who has been there and experienced that when it comes to any disease or illness. I am a person and patient who would rather know what I am dealing with as opposed to live in denial or submit to the concept that ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is power, people. Especially when it comes to your health.
Till my next post,
Grace
(Amy)
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