Review: Now I See You: A Memoir by Nicole C. Kear

Dear Lit Loves,

Well, I'm still in the holding booth in terms of acquiring a literary agent; but, I'm making friends with editors at the big six publishers that buy memoirs like those I write.  In the meantime, I'm getting on with my summer reading.  This week's choice was Now I See You:  A Memoir by Nicole C. Kear.  First, let me say, I picked up this memoir because it's about a woman who chronicles how her life is affected by the degenerative eye disease, retinitis pigmentosa.  You know I'm interested because I've lived since age sixteen with Uveitis.  And around age twenty-eight, I started to develop Uveitic Glaucoma along with a whole host of other weird, rare, and high unusual issues.

First, let me say, though the author comes across with a strong voice in this book, it's not one I found informative or enhancing to what she's trying to communicate.  She chooses outright flippant humor as the primary voice in this memoir.  Sometimes I was just generally put off by the language she used in the memoir; you don't have to be vulgar and categorically gross to engage readers in a good memoir.  The author discovers at an early age that she has retinitis pigmentosa which basically will rob her of her eyesight in what her specialist tells her will be ten years.  At this point in time, there is no effective treatment for RP.  The route the author takes is not one of pro-activity.  She basically does what most typical nineteen year old individuals would do:  activate extreme denial.  And this leads to living in the moment by traveling places, having as many romances as possible, and living on the edge.  I do support the author not tolerating lackadaisical bedside manners on the part of specialists; one specialist basically blows her off following diagnosis and the other specialist becomes highly judgmental.  I have zero tolerance for either of these behaviors in my medical experts.

Eventually, this book explores what the author's life is like once she becomes a mom and has an eye condition that she keeps hidden from virtually everyone except her immediate family and her husband.  When you're losing your eyesight, the usual first part to go is your night vision and your peripheral vision.  Eventually, the author has a humorous time attempting to keep up with a four year old and one year old when her window of vision is getting smaller and smaller.  She runs into fire hydrants, dogs, and theatrical props.  I think the biggest shock for me as a person also having a disease that will take my eyesight is that the author didn't take a more proactive stance when it comes to finding a university research specialist to treat her disease earlier in her life.  It's not until the last third of the book that she readily admits to the state of New York that she needs serious help for the visually impaired.  Also, she was rather late to the support group meetings.  And what kind of relationship transpired between the mom she finally meets who also has the same eye disease?  There was no exploration of that friendship than their initial meeting. 

In the end, the author makes a decision that she says is one of the first she made without fear.  I have to say, I don't think that just because I chose not to have kids means I'm making decisions out of fear.  My priorities are far different than this author.  My life does not revolve around being a mom.  Don't get me wrong, I love teaching middle and high school students.  I've saved myself a great deal of stress, worry, and anxiety by having the assurance that I am the only person afflicted with my ailments and my happiness is totally up to me.  True, part of the reason I chose not to have kids is because I don't want to pass on Uveitis, Uveitic Glaucoma, Meniere's disease, etc., but that doesn't make me a person making decisions due to fear.  That makes me a woman, patient, and writer that makes decision because she knows herself well and how best to achieve personal happiness.  My memoir (that will hopefully be published) will show how I chose a different road than this author and still achieved effective treatment for my eye disease and personal fulfillment.  Can't well to tell the world how I did it.

Up next is Jujitsu Rabbi and the Godless Blonde by Rebecca Dana.  The title is intriguing enough and I'll let you know soon enough what I think about the book's narrative.

Grace