Sunday, September 18, 2022

Review: Honor: A Novel by Thrity Umrigar

Dear Lit Loves,

Wow.  This month my local book club selected a book I thought would be a quick and easy read, but it honestly was one of the most truthful, but painful books I have ever read.  The book is titled Honor by Thrity Umrigar and though it is a novel, it almost reads like a memoir due to its realistic portrayal of religions and culture wars.  Thrity Umrigar is a Professor of English at Case Western Reserve University and she has written eight novels.  The book centers around a foreign correspondent, Smita, who works for a U.S. newspaper.  Smita is called away from vacation by a colleague and friend.  Smita believes her colleague needs assistance during a surgery, but, no, her colleague needs her to finish writing the final articles on a case in India involving a young woman named Meena who is being punished by her Hindu brothers for marrying a Muslim man and bringing dishonor on their family and their village.

Initially, I knew there had to be more to the foreign correspondent's background because though it appears she lives in New York and is an American citizen, while in India she is continually having flashbacks to a period in her life when she and her family lived in the metropolitan city of Mumbai.  Smita also has some reservations about tackling coverage of a story involving a young woman named Meena who is the victim of hate crimes by her brothers.  Meena is part of a rural village, lives in poverty, and along with her sister Radha, worked in a factory essentially to support themselves and their two brothers.  When Meena decides to leave the family and marry a Muslim man named Abdul who believes they can be the example of a new India where people marry not because of their religion but because of who they choose to love, all hell breaks loose.

I should issue a warning that what happens with Meena and her brothers is brutally violent.  There were times I had to put this book down deliberately and come back to it at a later time.  Though the trauma is realistic given Meena's circumstances, it was still difficult to read what her brothers did to reclaim their family "honor".  And in no way whatsoever do I condone what happens to Meena in this book.  Honestly, I found it revolting.  Meena's brothers are never found guilty of their actions because the justice system where they live is highly compromised by bribery.  Smita, the foreign correspondent, who is covering the story, finds herself in the middle of the conflict and trying to bring Meena's case to a larger audience.  We also discover that Smita was a victim of religious/culture animosity when growing up as she once lived in Mumbai until her father found a way to move the family to The United States and find freedom while he began teaching religion at a university in Ohio.  

I do not wish to give away the complete story.  Smita and her protector and translator, Mohan, find themselves in a highly combative situation upon trying to save Meena from the wrath of her brothers who are found not guilty for what they did to both Meena and her husband, Abdul.  Meena also asks Smita at the climax of the conflict to take her child, Abru, to the States so she can live freely and without the persecution both Meena and Abdul have endured.  Obviously, this leads to its own crisis whereby Smita must decide how she will help Abru survive when she has no living parents and a mother-in-law who wants nothing to do with her.  

Smita's decision on how to do what is best for Abru is the gem of this story.  You have a female correspondent who has suffered trauma and persecution in India because of her father's writings and also because of the family's religion at a critical time in her life around the age of twelve or thirteen.  She is struggling with whether to leave Abru with Mohan who has connections in India and has lived there his whole life.  At the same time, Smita worries how she would care for Abru as a single woman who travels for work and is based in New York.  The ending of the book leaves the reader with hope and uncertainty, but that is how so much of life is these days.  And maybe that is what we are to take away from this book.  Life itself is filled with vast hopes and extreme uncertainties such that the best way to live and love is in the present while striving to live as honorably as we can.

This is most definitely a five star book.  I would alert readers to the more violent parts of the book, but the story is a realistic portrayal of what some Hindu and Muslim women have experienced as a result of the clash between religions, cultures, and family honor.   

Until My Next Review,

Grace (Amy)

Saturday, September 10, 2022

Review: The Burning Light of Two Stars: A Mother-Daughter Story

 Dear Lit Loves,

Over the last two weeks I have been reading The Bruning Light of Two Starts:  A Mother-Daughter Story by Laura Davis.  Ms. Davis authored the bestselling book titled The Courage to Heal enlightening many men and women on ways to heal from the trauma of sexual abuse.  I selected this book because Laura Daviss pecifically addresses trying to reconcile a relationship with her mother after periods of estrangement along with detailing how she juggled assisting in her mom's care as her mother spent her final years living near her and suffering from Alzheimer's Disease.

Honestly, I know very few people who have not experienced some sort of "broken" relationship with a family member.  For Laura Davis, her struggle for reconciliation is with her mother who appears to not acknowledge that Laura's grandfather sexually abused her beginning around age three.  I do not know why Laura's mom, Temme, could not accept or validate that what her daughter was telling her about her grandfather's behavior was true.  There were definitely instances over a great period of time where Temme knew that inappropriate behavior on the part of her father did happen.  Sometimes a person prefers to live in denial.  Maybe she just could not bring herself to think of her father behaving in such an illicit manner.  The stress of this matter brought friction and estrangement in the relationship between mother and daughter.  And then Temme calls her daughter, Laura, to inform her that she believes she will take her up on her offer to live near her on the West coast for the final years of her life.

When Temme does move to the West coast, the reader witnesses Laura finding not just a place for her mother to live independently near her, but also to assist her mother in setting up her residence so that it closely resembles her previous home on the East coast.  It's like walking a tightrope for Laura trying to assist in her mother's care while also being married, juggling a career, and raising kids of her own.  As Temme continues to decline mentally and physically, we see mother and daughter at times make positive strides in their relationship while at other times, they both try one another's patience.  Laura does have a brother who assists periodically in their mother's care, but the two of them are not tight knit siblings.  

The one declaration Laura's mom makes clear as she continues to mentally deteriorate due to Alzheimer's is that when it is her time to go, she wants to go and not live as an invalid.  Fortunately, this request is made in a written legal document which enables retirement centers, hospitals, rehabilitation homes, and assisted living centers to know what Temme's wishes are for the end of her life (aka.. she does not want extraneous procedures or surgeries to prolong her life).    Throughout her mother's tenure living on her own near her daughter, having someone live with her, and finally, moving her mom to an assisted living center, I think mother and daughter come to appreciate one another's uniqueness and strengths.  I think it gives them time to build a stronger bond than they have ever had throughout life.  It's encouraging to see Temme realize and acknowledge that her daughter has gone above and beyond to take care of her and ensure her needs are met during the remaining years of her life.  And I think Laura once again reconnects with her brother thanks to both of them committing to helping their mom as she struggles near the end of her life.  

This is a book about family strife, estrangement, reconciliation, the trials and tribulations of watching an elderly parent decline in health, and a daughter's struggle to help her mom live with dignity while also having enough help to meet her basic daily needs.  It has always been enlightening to me to learn how different people cope with their parent's aging and dying.  And the single biggest task I hope to learn in a book such as this is how an adult child makes peace with a parent's death because for some of us, it is an ongoing struggle.  Sometimes peace and reconciliation with a parent may not come during their lifetime; sometimes the certainty of knowing you did your best to help your parent at their greatest time of need is where you will find peace.  I highly recommend this book.

Till my next review,

Grace (Amy)