Review: While Still There Is Light by Nancy Shaffer

Dear Lit Loves,
Finally!  I finished my next memoir manuscript!  It's all about the experience of having been diagnosed with Meniere's disease at age eighteen.  Afterward, I started purchasing books at Amazon and several have arrived.  I finished While Still There Is Light by Nancy Shaffer published by Skinner Books just this morning.  This book was written by a Unitarian Universalist minister who began chronicling her experience of coping with a brain tumor after she was initially hospitalized with it and it was removed immediately via surgery.   Rev. Shaffer relates the year she spent recovering from having a fist-sized brain tumor removed and subsequently undergoing radiation and chemotherapy treatments.  I think what impressed me most was the author's frustration with people asking her about her prognosis; the absolute worst question you can ask of a cancer patient.  If you really want to know, google it yourself and you will get a fairly decent idea of not only the cancer a person has, but the one year, three year, and five year survival rates of a specific cancer.  Rev. Shaffer does approach the prognosis question as if she were to ask it of a person who doesn't have cancer.  Well, anyone's prognosis is really, essentially to live a well-lived life and then death. 

It has been my experience that most cancer patients, particularly those with a terminal diagnosis, at some point struggle with the notion that this isn't the way their story was to end or at least why their life should end via such a dire diagnosis.  Honestly, if a cancer patient didn't have these thoughts I might worry they were in complete denial.  Rev. Shaffer also discusses what to say and not say when speaking to a cancer patient or writing to one.  For example, don't presume you know how they are feeling; don't make the person into a heroic figure; don't begin with "I couldn't do what you're doing" because really you don't know what you are capable of handling until such a diagnosis is revealed to you; and never make a statement that makes a cancer patient feel like an outsider.  It's about embracing the cancer patient as the individual you have always known them to be and what you appreciate about their personality and life. 

The last thing a cancer patient wants brought to immediate attention is that you didn't recognize them due to all the physical changes they undergo throughout treatment.  Yes, you may notice they have lost their hair, walk more slowly, are frail, have surgical scars, are quite a bit thinner, or have swollen extremities, but don't bring this into your conversation with them.  And as the child of parent who has cancer, please don't emphasize how badly you think a relative is looking because trust me, we know what's happening.  We're very aware of how our parent, sibling, or relative is changing.  It's all quite apparent to us without anyone pointing out the obvious or emphasizing how bad the situation is.  Just be inclusive, be compassionate, and "do" nice things for a cancer patient or their family if you can't or don't think you can handle interacting in a positive, inclusive, and loving fashion.  Actions speak louder than words anyway. 

I highly recommend this book as you get to see quite readily what is going through the mind of a person with a cancer diagnosis as they continue to try and relate to others as well as their community during a very overwhelming and frustrating time in their lives. 

Till next time,
Grace