Review: Haldol And Hyacinths by Melody Moezzi

Dear Lit Loves,
Recently, I picked up the memoir entitled Haldol And Hyacinths by Melody Moezzi which is an inside look at a woman's diagnosis of and life with a diagnosis of Bipolar 1.  If you've just been diagnosed with this disorder, this book will either really resonate with you or it just might scare the hell out of you.  I've worked with people who are bipolar, have acquaintances who are diagnosed as bipolar, but I am telling you I could not be married to or dating a person with this type of roller coaster illness.  Basically, bipolarity involves the vast fluctuations in mood; going from extreme highs to trench level lows.  Initially, Ms. Moezzi had a difficult time just getting diagnosed correctly.  It wasn't until she had a full psychotic break that she eventually landed in a psychiatric ward whereby she received the correct diagnosis of Bipolar 1.  At certain times in the book, she is suicidal.   At other times I honestly thought the woman might have ingested speed or something. 

First, there is the suicidal moment.  I'm not completely sure why she decided to do this because she was living a really good life and appeared to have a fantastically supportive family and significant other.  Landing in a psychiatric care facility, she knows she doesn't have a true diagnosis of depression and one important clue that she is bipolar came when she started telling the other psychiatric patients their diagnosis and what they needed to do to heal themselves.  I started thinking, damn, this girl is seriously going to get jumped or blessed out because she is acting in a haughty fashion to people that are at the end of their rope, are on a manic high, or worse, suffering from a traumatic stress disorder.  The extreme over-confidence was my first clue that the author was probably bipolar. 

Second, no matter who I have known or read about with a diagnosis of biplarity, the person nine times out of ten will swear to Mother Mary that they don't have a problem.  It's the rest of us who should be running at ninety miles per hour with our hair on fire in order to keep up with a bipolar person.   The author definitely does a fine job of fighting the diagnosis.  When she does experience a psychotic break in which she starts hallucinating and hearing people who are not in the room, her thoughtful significant other bravely calls the police.  They take her to a counseling center where she proceeds to cause such a ruckus that when the EMTs from the psychiatric clinic arrive to collect her, she has to be placed on a gurney and in restraints.  She is isolated and threatening to sue everyone and anyone within hearing distance. 

What were the other clues to a diagnosis of Bipolar 1?  I knew she was in a manic phase when she was talking in a quick and unceasing fashion.  She wanted to write a book in a month.  She wanted to stay up all evening to teach the finer points of human rights law.  Or she would be on a trip and suddenly decide to get a tattoo, stay awake for days, and pull others into helping keep her manic phase going.  At certain points while reading the book I kept thinking, girl, you seriously need to consider taking Valium or at least trying meditation or yoga. 

Finally, after multiple hospitalizations and many psychiatrists she receives the correct diagnosis and finds a medication that works.  It additionally helps that she begins attending a day treatment program that engages her on emotional, mental, and physical levels; this is what really proves successful.  And I have to say, I've got to applaud her husband Matt because he had an endless amount of patience and calm.  There were moments when most significant others would have just thrown up their hands and walked away forever.  I think at one point the author even invited him to do this.  It was Matt, her husband, who had witnessed all the fretting, sleeplessness, pacing, incessant chatter, and agitation that would eventually lead to the author getting the correct diagnosis.  How did he do it?  He started taking notes on her behavior and reporting it.  I do have to give the author props in that she now actively monitors her behavior and takes medication when needed.  Most of the folks I know with a diagnosis of Bipolar 1 live in denial and refuse to take their medication because it slows their thinking and makes them sluggish.  Kudos to M. Moezzi.

Was there any part of the book that I didn't like?  Well, the author is Iranian-American so she could be sensitive to how people in the United States make assumptions about her and was the victim of discrimination.  My problem came when she started doing the same when it came to a person she befriended in Montana and there were several comments about students she encountered here who didn't automatically befriend her.  Also, she shouldn't automatically think that people from Kentucky and Tennessee wouldn't know a valuable Persian rug when they see it.  Those in glass houses should always be careful before casting stones at others.

Till my next review,
Grace