Dear Lit Loves,
Greetings! Well, all my readers probably knew this blog post was coming, eventually. I swear if I have one more individual tell me that I am not a "real author" because I self-published my own damn book, I may go half-ass crazy! Honestly, there is already so much vitriol in the world right now, why add to it? Are you that desperate to make yourself feel like the almighty powerful god that you think you are while you diss the rest of us like heathens?!! Puuhhlleese!
When I first started writing my first book, Brave Soul Rising, I knew it wasn't going to be easy for an unknown southern gal with a background of teaching language arts and social studies to obtain an agent much less a book deal. I mean, I don't live in the land of lollipops and princesses, okay? But Lord have mercy, when I completed the manuscript and began submitting the first fifty pages and a book proposal to literary agents, I honestly bought a huge plastic binder and just started stockpiling rejection letters. Seriously, Stephen King has nothing on me when it comes to rejection letters. I finally started a system of tabs in the binder according to what I thought of either the agent's email or printed rejection of my manuscript and book proposal. The tabs went something like this: Inept/Snarly Agents; Rude/Potentially Anal-Retentive Agents; Delusional Agents (no idea what kind of book they are looking for); Abominable Witch/Warlock Agents (just plain nasty); and finally, Nonexistent Agents (never knew what they thought of my work because I never heard from them, ever). Good Lord, People! I spent five years trying to obtain a literary agent and each year while I was querying agents, I wrote another manuscript for heaven's sake! The cherry on top of the icing on the cake came when some agents would also basically instruct me that if I ever self-published, he/she/they would no longer consider my work or accept me as a client. Lord, who needs demented extended family members when you've got people like this replying to you on a weekly basis?!! Frankly, I just gave up on the whole notion of me and a literary agent ever being on the same page much less doing business together. Talk about feeling like you are dirt stuck to someone's shoe. So when I decided to self-publish I felt like I had stuck my tongue out, cried "Na Na Na Na Na Nah", and thanked Mother Mary for blessing the earth with Jeff Bezos!
And next I found myself at a book club presentation. I had been invited to come and speak about my book to about 30+ people and sign books after the program. Would you not know that a couple who had not bothered to even attend the program, entered the room afterward, came to the table to chat with me, and the man actually said to me, "Well, we didn't bother to come to the presentation. I mean, your self-published, right? So you aren't a real writer or author or anything." And what he didn't know was that his wife had just chatted with me that she had been writing her own memoir and wanted to have it published.....somehow. Other than the fact that my husband was standing in between us, I don't know what stopped me from lambasting the male fool. I mean, the audacity just makes my blood boil at times!
Upon making another book club presentation, I was introduced by the club's leader in a quite facetious manner as a major, bestselling author who has sold millions upon millions of books. I stood from my chair, walked to the podium mic, and said, "Well, now let me tell you the honest to goodness real truth of the matter." This brought the house down if you know what I mean. I do not relate well to individuals who appear to get their jollies by taking demeaning shots at me because I self-published a book. Hey, John Grisham once sold his first book right out of the trunk of his car! Quite honestly, if you take a below the belt shot at me when I am there to speak on my own time and money, I will throw smack back at you at the rate Rafael Nadal serves when playing tennis. Are we on the same page now, brothers and sisters?!! Damn straight.
I guess one of the biggest disappointments as a self-published author was when southern independent bookstores would not stock my book because I published through Amazon. Or I would have to "apply" to have my book potentially stocked at their store and that was only if the owners felt my book was up to par. And some of these same booksellers wanted me to stock their stores with the book on my own dime and time, only offer me a pittance of the sale price of the book, relieve them of any books that were not sold, and sign a contract that I would abide by these rules. It was like I was trying to apply to med school at Duke University or something. I kept asking these booksellers, "Do you make other authors published by Random House, Simon and Schuster, etc. jump through all these hoops??" I usually never received a response to the question or if I did receive a response it was, "No, we do not take this route with traditionally published authors." So doesn't that constitute a form of discrimination would be my next inquiry to which not one bookseller responded, period.
So you know what I did? I read a quote by one of my favorite actresses, Meryl Streep, and I placed that quote in a prominent position in my home office. It reads, "What Makes You Different Or Weird, That's Your Strength." And I self-published my memoir. If that makes me be classified as unique, resistant, or rebellious in getting my work out in the world, well, so damn well be it!!
CAUSE THAT'S MY JAM, BABY!!
Rock on self-published authors,
Grace
(Amy)
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