Dear Lit Loves,
It's been a trying week in my efforts to inject myself into the publishing community. Most everyone who knows me can tell you that I write about facing down unimaginable health issues: chronic, rare and perplexing disorders and diseases. I've been doing this since I was age three and contracted a form of bacterial meningitis from a preschool classmate and wound up surviving. Why is that so unusual you ask? Because the year was 1972 and no one survived it back then without suffering major bodily damage like going cross-eyed or not being able to walk. I then was diagnosed with Meniere's disease at age eighteen. You know, the inner ear disorder where fluid builds up inside the cochlea and vertigo ensues. Eventually, you lose your balance, hearing, and oftentimes your dignity. Yes, I've dealt with that since 1988, age eighteen. Then in my late twenties, I developed the chronic form of an eye condition called Uveitis which inflames the eye and causes vision loss. And obviously, this led to Uveitic Glaucoma for which I've had five surgeries to implant a shunt to drain my inner eye fluid and save my vision. Plus, I was also found to have an underlying autoimmune disorder called Cogan's syndrome which causes my immune system to attack my own organs and damage them. I regularly take chemo to keep that from happening.
And heaven knows I've dealt with facing the grim reaper when it comes to my family. My dad has had quintuple bypass surgery along with two bouts of Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma along with one stem cell transplant. My mom has endured breast cancer and I just recently watched a fellow teaching colleague battle a recurrence of neuroendocrine colon cancer which by the time it was found, had spread to her brain and liver. No one avoids the unimaginable or the grim reaper so if you think you will, you are sadly mistaken.
It came as a bit offensive to me this past week when a literary agent who had requested an adventurous, inspiring memoir rejected my book proposal and manuscript "because it didn't quite pique her interest enough". Short of jumping on a broom and flying to New York to stand in my Tory Burch heels to whack my broom on her desk while yelling "What the hell is your problem?! I wrote this for women who need to know how to deal with the healthcare system! I wrote this because I'm a firm believer in being your own patient advocate! I write to enable women to come to grips with the reality that you can't run from adversity sister; you can live in denial all you want, but everybody faces the pied piper one day or another! So you've got to put on your big girl Spanx and understand that in this healthcare system we have today, whether it's you, your dad, or your best friend, you better know how to deal with discrimination, sexism, negligence, asinine surgeons, cash-strapped insurance companies, and how to research and receive the best care possible or you are quite simply Up A Freaking Creek! Do you understand me?!" Cause what I'm saying sister is that this material may not pique your interest today for whatever reason, but one day, when you're the one receiving the grim diagnosis or waiting in the pre-op holding area for that life-saving surgery, you're gonna think back and go, "Damn, wonder what that gal who wrote about all this really had to say; what had she learned that might have helped me now?" So even if I don't pique your interest right this second darling, one day you will think back and remember that I truly had the valuable insight to share; I have the experiences and an up close and personal relationship with the ugly, badass diseases and disorders that will one day invade your life; well, damn, you'll think, "she knew how to cope and deal and resolve, but it didn't pique my interest then, but it does now because the unimaginable drop-kicked down my front door and decided to set up its next residence in my living room." And you know what I'm going to say sister, "I tried to tell you; I tried to help you; I tried to enlighten you. BUT it didn't pique your interest, till now."
Grace
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