Dear Literary Loves,
Oh my. I just found an internet site that posted all the tweets from some circulating theme of Agents and Editors Wish Lists. Was it ever revealing! I felt like I was a fly on the wall listening in on the George Zimmermann trial in Florida. Talk about truly discovering what literary agents are REALLY
looking for in the slush pile! I was shocked because well, I had queried some of these literary agents and it was quite obvious to me that memoir IS NOT a genre where their true interests and priorities lie. WHO KNEW?! Anyway, my point is that there are many an acquiring literary agent who list on an agency site that they acquire memoir, but they wouldn't have the slightest bit of interest if a really good one came across the desk because WHAT they are really truly focusing on acquiring is young adult this and young adult that. Tsk. Tsk. Yawn. Sorry, young adult is definitely not this southern writer's area. Also, the vampire, werewolves, shewolves, etc. were SO OVER five years ago. So here I was reading all these tweets and thinking why in the hell did I ever query him/her when it is so obvious we are not even on the same literary wavelength?! Let's be real. We may not even be residing on the same planet in some cases. Lord, I was shocked. By the way, there is an agent or editor that wants the next Downtown Abbey book, if that's your thing. I fall asleep during the opening montage for Downtown Abbey if that tells you anything about my tastes.
And let me say there is an agent that is looking to acquire memoir, but she wants one without the following: illness, addiction, or families. SAY WHAT?!!!! Oh my goodness peeps! Where would we be without those universal qualities throughout oh, I don't know, 80 percent of all the memoir titles?! OH, IT'S JUST THE BEE'S KNEES HOW WHEN I READ THIS I JUST ABOUT PASSED OUT FROM HYPERVENTILATION! By the way, that's probably why this particular literary agent rudely did not get back to me when I queried her with my memoir! Damn! Maybe he/she wanted a memoir that was going to sit on the shelf and collect dust and be sent back to the publisher as returns, but I'm in it for the real deal sweethearts. I'm in it because I have a strong voice, a twistedly good yarn, and one hell of a fabulous author Web site that debuts this weekend! Ya'll Be Sweet Now While I Take Myself Out To Lunch! CHEERS!!
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